PackOne Limerick Contest !

Last year I had the opportunity to enter the MontanaBob limerick contest on this site. Somehow, I managed to win the darn thing, and MontanaBob awarded me with some fabulous prizes from his home state of Montana.

After clearing it with Mr. Bob, I have decided to pass on the tradition with this years PackOne limerick contest. I too will offer the winner some fabulous prizes from my home state of Wisconsin. (yeah) I also own a custom art and frame store, so the winner can expect a one of a kind Packer piece - along with other prizes chosen at my discretion.

Montana's only stipulation was that the limerick continued to revolve around the Vikings.

Although he doesn't know it yet - I will be asking Raider Pride to assist me in judging. Silently, I have always respected him as a poster in this forum. I will also ask Montana for is final approval of a winner. For those not familiar with a limerick format I have posted the rules below.

A limerick is a five-line poem with a strict meter, popularized by Edward Lear. The rhyme scheme is usually "A-A-B-B-A". The first, second, and fifth lines are three metrical feet (9 syllables); the third and fourth are two metrical feet (One metrical foot is equal to 3 syllables; the line pattern goes 9-9-6-6-9). The foot used is usually the amphibrach, a stressed syllable between two unstressed ones. However, many substitutions are common, notably the anapestic foot, two short syllables and then a long (the reverse of dactyl rhythm).

The first line traditionally introduces a person and a location, and usually ends with the name of the location, though sometimes with that of the person. A true limerick is supposed to have a kind of twist to it. This may lie in the final line, or it may lie in the way the rhymes are often intentionally tortured, or in both. Though not a strict requirement, many limericks additionally show some form of internal rhyme, often alliteration, sometimes assonance or another form of rhyme. In early limericks, the last line often essentially repeated the first, though that is no longer customary.

I will give everyone the first line and the rest is up to you. I put alot of thought into this so don't let me down. The contest will run until the last tick of the clock in the first pre-season game.

And the first line is ....

There once was a Vike from Nantucket.

AMENDMENT: Due to the limited amount of words that correctly rhyme with Nantucket, the producers of this contest will allow limericks that begin with the location of your choice ... such as -

There once was a Vike from my bung hole.
Looked just like the waste in my T-Bowl.
He smelled worse than my arse.
He teams talent quite sparse.
Caged him with my pigs like a stink pole.

-OR-

There once was a Vike from south 'Sota.
Drove round in a purple toyota.
Just a retard - quite weird.
Like the clam with the beard.
The bottom of earths status quota.


Just a suggestion of course. Heh.

There once was a Vike from Nantucket
who took an Onterrio plane junket.
But right after the escalator,
security found his Whizzinator.
And since then his pot-to-piss-in has been a bucket.

I'll even introduce my own ...


There once was a Vike from Nantucket.
He moved from the land of K. Puckett.
His Vikings were a shame.
Not just bad, but real lame.
Dropped 'trou' and tends burns from the carpet.


PS Edited because I didn't want to steal the word bucket

There once was a Vike from Nantucket
who went on a Lake Minnetonka cruise junket.
But he plead to the court
“Nothing indecent of the sort,
all she asked was "Do you mind if I “s**k it?”





Ok, I'm done. :beersign:

There once was a guy named Ted Thompson
Who takes opportunities and stomps 'em
He said with a groan
As brett picked up the phone
I will not trade for keyshawn johnson



Haha that just came off the top of my head, didn't quite hit the syllable rule on all the lines, but real close=P

Ohhhh has to revolve around the vikings, thats like asking my cat to hang out in a really messy litter box, hrmmmm

One night on the 'sota turnpike
There rode a purple man on a bike
His pants were pulled down
Fans looked on with a frown
(No.)84 Decided he might play tonight.

There once was a Vike from Nantucket
Who had brow hair so long he would pluck it
When there came talk of a bowl
He would find a nice hole
So when Cheesey threw that word out there he could duck it.

Not viking related, but this one was pretty good.

There once were some Vikes from Nantucket
Who on one night whipped out their junkets
As Mikey meathead screamed
Smootsie sank with the team
And they all continued to sucketh!

There was a team from the Twin Cities,
That liked looking at women's titties,
So off they did float, on a man's rented boat
Which was frowned on by all the old biddies!

There once was a vike fan named weasey
Who thought that that trophy came easy
When it didn't come around
On sex she'd expound
And set her sights on poor Cheesey.

(Sung to the theme from "The Jeffersons")
"Well we're movin' on up
Outta Minnesota,
where the Vike fans just sit and gloat-aaa
Yeah were movin' on up
outta Minnesotaaaa,
Where our team justa floats on a BOAT-AaaaAAAAaaaaaaa!!!"
(Weasey......LOLOLOL!!!) :rotflmao:

There once was a Queen from Nantucket,
Who said, "Bitch on your knees and suck it!,
In a public staircase, another Queenie disgrace,
You'd think at some point the fans would say, "**** it".

Based on the misadventures of Dwight Smith in a downtown club.

This thread is a clear violation of .....uh nevermind :sucks:

There once was a man named Cheesey
Who spilled some Gin on his weenie
Just to be Couth
He added Vermouth
And slipped his chick a Martini!

More picking on the Vikes :Razz:

There once was a Vike from Nantucket;
Watching his team play like they were pissing in a bucket;
Became so distraught and out of sorts;
That he decided to change sports;
And now pledges his support to Pawtucket.


Yet another minor league team :rotflmao:

Cheesey and weenie don't ryhme!
Now....if it was "Vikesrule" and "Weenie".......you could use either word, cause they both mean the same thing!LOLOLOL!!! :rotflmao:

... See new version.

(Hope no one ever kicks ME in my "junket!".............whatever the heck that is!) :rotflmao:

There once was a Vike from Nantucket
they called him the poor little muppet
screaming for purple pride
burning on the wrong side
going to the dance like a puppet

hahahaha Good one Bertram

Did I mention this is a prize package valued at over 300 bucks. Let's hear some Vike bashing. I don't like to bump my own.

I thought i did pretty well!
There's only so much you can say in 5 lines!
Now....if it was open to full blown poems, i could go on and on!!!

yeah you could if it wasn't 5 lines The vikes cant be described in 5 lines

(Not without plenty of swear words!!!)LOLOLOL!!! :rotflmao:

There once was a team 'cross the 'Sippi
Whose fans had become quite lippy
But they jettisoned eighty-four
Then showed Daunte the door
Even Childress, like Tice, is just dippy