SNAP
Cheesehead
FROM ANOTHER BOARD AND IT'S RIGHT ON THE $$$:
This whole season had me questioning the existence of the football gods. New England picked up many stars, including Candy Moss, a poor sport who always quits on his team, a disgrace to the game of football. I thought this had to call for some punishment, but the football gods were silent. In pre-season, my friends from Boston brag, "just give us the Lombardi Trophy now." And I ground my teeth and called upon the football gods. But I got no answer. Then it was confirmed that Belicheck and the New England franchise were a bunch of cheaters. But STILL, the football gods sat aside and watched. The most classless organization in professional sports ran up the score, game after game, on hapless opponents, breaking records by throwing long bombs to Candy Moss up 35 points in the fourth quarter. How could the football gods stand for this?
Then the Patriots went 16-0 and tied a great record. I was convinced. There are no football gods. They have abandoned us. Only demons this year. Plaxico Burress predicted a 23-17 superbowl, and Mr. Cologne scoffed. How DARE they even consider keeping us below 31 points? Impossible, especially without the help of the football gods.
It was horrible. Honest football fans everywhere lamented. We had given up on justice and fair play and everything football should stand for. With no football gods to enforce these important principles, New England was bound to make history.
But there was a glimmer of hope. The Giants defensive line where beasts, and The Model spent most of the game on his Ground Rules. Still, I was worried. The Patriots always win. The football gods don't exist. Then, on a critical play, it looks like Eli is sacked and the football demons have exacted their fantasy. But what is this?!? Eli escapes, and throws up a prayer and what a grab. To Tyree? Who? Then Plax got free for a TD and the game was over.
The football gods had a plan all along! They had waited for the perfect time. They let New England tie a meaningless record. Of course, the football gods know, the regular season means nothing. Nothing. The football gods even let them win two playoff games, just to make it hurt worse when they finally exacted their revenge.
And the football gods smiled.
This whole season had me questioning the existence of the football gods. New England picked up many stars, including Candy Moss, a poor sport who always quits on his team, a disgrace to the game of football. I thought this had to call for some punishment, but the football gods were silent. In pre-season, my friends from Boston brag, "just give us the Lombardi Trophy now." And I ground my teeth and called upon the football gods. But I got no answer. Then it was confirmed that Belicheck and the New England franchise were a bunch of cheaters. But STILL, the football gods sat aside and watched. The most classless organization in professional sports ran up the score, game after game, on hapless opponents, breaking records by throwing long bombs to Candy Moss up 35 points in the fourth quarter. How could the football gods stand for this?
Then the Patriots went 16-0 and tied a great record. I was convinced. There are no football gods. They have abandoned us. Only demons this year. Plaxico Burress predicted a 23-17 superbowl, and Mr. Cologne scoffed. How DARE they even consider keeping us below 31 points? Impossible, especially without the help of the football gods.
It was horrible. Honest football fans everywhere lamented. We had given up on justice and fair play and everything football should stand for. With no football gods to enforce these important principles, New England was bound to make history.
But there was a glimmer of hope. The Giants defensive line where beasts, and The Model spent most of the game on his Ground Rules. Still, I was worried. The Patriots always win. The football gods don't exist. Then, on a critical play, it looks like Eli is sacked and the football demons have exacted their fantasy. But what is this?!? Eli escapes, and throws up a prayer and what a grab. To Tyree? Who? Then Plax got free for a TD and the game was over.
The football gods had a plan all along! They had waited for the perfect time. They let New England tie a meaningless record. Of course, the football gods know, the regular season means nothing. Nothing. The football gods even let them win two playoff games, just to make it hurt worse when they finally exacted their revenge.
And the football gods smiled.
