My interview with Jessica Simpson

Well, i FINALLY got ahold of her.........(i can see now why people make so much fun of blondes!)
Cheesey: Thank you Jessica for taking time off from your busy schedule of.........uh..........what exactly is it that you do?
Jessica Simpson:Right now???? Tony Romo!
CH:I meant WHAT do you do.....not WHO.
JS:Oh....sorry! You know, i'm an actress and a singer!
CH:What was your favorite roll?
JS:Those crescent ones.......i LOVE them with LOTS of butter!
CH:No....i mean MOVIE roll!
JS:I never had that brand.........I like the little Pillsbury guy.......he's SOOO cute!
CH:Geez.......lets try another question. Are you a natural blonde?
JS:What does that mean? Are there unnatural ones?
CH:I mean is that your real hair color?
JS:Let me check.......... yeah,I think so.
CH:What is one of your favorite foods?
JS: Oh! TUNA! "Chicken of the Sea!.......... I just don't understnd how those chickens swim though...........all those feathers and all.
CH:Uh......."Chicken of the Sea" is not really CHICKEN! It's FISH!
JS: I know that silly! But i still never saw fish with with feathers........you would think they would be on the n-dangerd spee-seas list or something. They must be real rare.
CHyeah.........almost as rare as a SMART blonde!)
JS:What did you say?
CH:Nothing.......some people say the reason that Tony Romo played so bad at the game a couple weeks ago was because you were there. They said your being there distracted him. Do you think that was the reason?
JS:Well, if i told you what i told him i was gonna do to him after the game, you would understand why he was distracted!
CH:Wow......I'm NOT going to ask you what you told him. I noticed you had that pink Cowboys jersey on with his number 9 on it, did he give that to you?
JS:Oh.......that was a 9? When i looked down at it, it was a 6!
CH: :roll: Are you planning on going to anymore Cowboy games?
JS:I hope so! I want to see Tony hit a home run!
CH:Jessica, thats BASEBALL!
JS:Really!?!?Tony told me he was gonna try to get to "third base" with me tonight.
CH.......k
Thanks Jessica for taking the time off from your busy schedule for me.
JS:Your welcome Cheesey! I'm hungry.........would you like to have lunch with me before you go? I'm gonna have some of that "Chicken of the Sea"...........I'll let you have your choice of a leg or thigh if you want.
CH:No thanks Jessica..........I lost my appetite!


Any resemblance to this and an actual interview with Jessica Simpson.......well, in this case, it might be closer to the truth then usual! :lol:

So funny. Thats Jessica for you.

LOL thats great what was the real interview?

There wasn't one..........thats why i made it up! :wink: :lol:

Talk her into coming to the NFC Championship game in Dallas when the Packers come to play. Be a great distraction for Romo.

Well....i'm hoping she shows up in 2 weeks at the Dallas game.........then they lose, and we have the NFC championship game here!!!

Another classic Cheesy!

Cheesey is priceless.

How TRUE!!!
My wife tried to sell me, and she couldn't get 5 cents!!! :lol:

Thanks Toddy!
I tried to explain that you were from Australia..........she said "What state is that in?"
I told het "No! Haven't you ever heard of "down under?"
She of course replied "Down UNDERWHERE!??!?"
I gave up after that.................... :lol:

Cheesy, you really do know how to make one's day.

I noticed how you stopped there :wink: Now i have to think......make ones day GOOD, or make ones day ROTTEN! :wink: :lol: :lol: :lol:
(Thank you, by the way! )

You say you finally got ahold of her.
What did she feel like?

She felt, well.....................DUMB!!!! :lol:

Cheesey, tell us, when you got a hold of Jessica, what part did you get a hold of?

ONLY her hand PC!
(Thank goodness i didn't have to try to hold her brain..........I'd STILL be looking for it!) :lol:

:rotflmao:

For the record, fake blondes, like Ms. Simpson, give real blondes a bad name. I've known some pretty smart real blondes, one of whom is CEO of a company (she's also good-looking). I've yet to meet a real smart fake blonde.

Ohhhhh Jessica. :doh: :lol:

I know.....sad....isn't it??? :lol:

Well....i'm a REAL blonde! Both my Mom and Dad had black hair......my brother black hair.........my sister dark brown. I come out BLONDE!
(For YEARS i looked at the mailman and wondered.........dad??? :lol: )
But to show you what a pain in the (blank) i was, at age 5 i fell on a small screwdriver i was looking for........smacked my forehead, which left a HUGE bump, and i had TWO black eyes. I'm in a store with my Mom while she's shopping, and some lady comes up to me and asks me "Oh my! What happened to you!" And i told her "My Mom beats me!" TRUE STORY!!!
Another time, around the same age, (i was a cute little kid) and some lady starts talking to me.............i tell her "When i was a baby, my Mom would throw plastic bags in my crib for me to play with!" You should have seen the look on that lady's face! My Mom comes over and says "Don't say things like that!!! They will believe you!!!" I just started laughing!!!
So even at a young age..............my "Cheeseyness" was showing! :lol:

OMG LOL that last one is classic

I know..........i was a real pain in the you-know-what!
But even as a kid, there wasn't a dull moment with me around! :shock:

I know that was all said in jest, but here in politically correctville, someone would have called the authorities and your parents would have spent years trying to get you back. :roll:

The plastic bags thing was awesome though. I think I'll use that now that I'm an adult just to ruffle some feathers. People here get offended by EVERYTHING.

I know.............but this was back in the mid 1960's, before this politically correct crap ruined the nation.
Besides.........i was a lttle kid just looking for a laugh! What the heck did i know? :wink:

Wow, how long did that take you? That was good!