1. Welcome to Green Bay Packers NFL Football Forum & Community!
    Packer Forum is one of the largest online communities for the Green Bay Packers.

    You are currently viewing our community forums as a guest user.

    Sign Up or

    Having an account grants you additional privileges, such as creating and participating in discussions. Furthermore, we hide most of the ads once you register as a member!

The Blonde Joke Thread...

Discussion in 'The Atrium' started by Pack93z, Feb 11, 2008.

  1. digsthepack

    digsthepack Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Messages:
    2,486
    Ratings:
    +0
    Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings?

    They have to have somewhere to hook their toes!
     
  2. SNAP

    SNAP Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2008
    Messages:
    464
    Ratings:
    +15
    Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

    Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
    A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

    Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
    A: Because you wash vegetables there!

    Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
    A: Tell her she's pregnant.

    Q: What will she ask you?
    A: "Is it mine?"

    Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
    A: A wind tunnel.

    Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
    A: To see what was on the other side.

    Q: What do you see when you peer into a blonde's eyes?
    A: A Back of her head.
     
  3. trippster

    trippster Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2005
    Messages:
    1,405
    Ratings:
    +2
    A blonde woman, down on her luck is sitting in a park crying. As she sobs she starts talking to God. "God?" she wimpers, "Why have you forgotten about me? I have prayed to you consistantly for help in winning the lottery so that I can get out of my terrible financial situation. For 4 months now, you have not answered my prayes which I have been dilligently doing. Why have you not answered my prayers????"

    With that, the clouds and heavans parted and god whispered down to the blonde, "My dear child, I have heard all your prayers and desperately want to help you. But please, work with me here........ buy a ticket!!"
     
  4. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2005
    Messages:
    1,000
    Ratings:
    +3
    It's not blonde, but i like it:
    How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb???




    Only one, but the light bulb has to WANT to change!!!
     
  5. SNAP

    SNAP Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2008
    Messages:
    464
    Ratings:
    +15
    Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
    A: You don’t lend the Porsche out to your friend.

    Q: How do you drown a blond?
    A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

    Q: What do blondes and cow pies (or buffalo chips) have in common?
    A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

    Q: How do blonde braincells die ?
    A: Alone.

    Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
    A: Blow in her ear.

    Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
    A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

    Q: HOW DO YOU KEEP A BLONDE BUSY ALL DAY?
    A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

    Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
    A: She drowns it.

    Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal
    her window seat?
    A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are
    all in the middle row.
     
  6. wpr

    wpr Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Messages:
    1,517
    Ratings:
    +0
    What is a 710?

    A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten?' She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one..' She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?' She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there.' If you' re not sure what a 710 is:
    Click Here
     
  7. wpr

    wpr Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Messages:
    1,517
    Ratings:
    +0
    Thanks. I sure need these jokes tonight.
     
  8. Packers_Finland

    Packers_Finland Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    283
    Ratings:
    +0
    LOL, wpr, I laughed big time.
     
  9. Pack93z

    Pack93z You retired too? .... Not me. I'm in my prime

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2005
    Messages:
    4,855
    Ratings:
    +22
    Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a blonde woman who was not happy to see them.

    She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces.

    To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result-the door bounced back open.

    Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat."
     
  10. Pack93z

    Pack93z You retired too? .... Not me. I'm in my prime

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2005
    Messages:
    4,855
    Ratings:
    +22
    Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
    A. Cause it said concentrate.

    Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?
    A. Because they have blond boyfriends

    Q. Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio?
    A. It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too.

    Q. What does a blonde say when you ask her what the last two words of the national anthem are?
    A. Play ball.
     
  11. Pack93z

    Pack93z You retired too? .... Not me. I'm in my prime

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2005
    Messages:
    4,855
    Ratings:
    +22
    Three blondes are walking through the forest. They come upon some tracks.

    The first blonde says "They're deer tracks."

    The second blonde says "They're bear tracks."

    The third blonde says "They're moose tracks."

    Then a train hits them.
     
  12. wpr

    wpr Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Messages:
    1,517
    Ratings:
    +0
    Three blondes were sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A game warden came up behind them, tapped one on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses." "We don't have any." replied the first blonde. "Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses." "But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river." The warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, he left. As soon as he was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?!"
     

Share This Page