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Post a Joke Thread

Discussion in 'The Atrium' started by robdog, Apr 29, 2009.

  1. Vltrophy

    Vltrophy Cheesehead

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    Need a Christmas gift? Get Tony Romo cologne. You use it & the other guy scores.
     
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  2. Bignutz

    Bignutz I'm a victim of coicumstances!

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    LOL Now that's funny!!
     
  3. buggybill2003

    buggybill2003 Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    Oklahoma ? How do you pronounce it ? there is a right way and a wrong way to pronounce it.

    If you say oklahoma you are wrong. There is a gap between the Okla and the homa. What would a Brit know about it ?, but I`m right and I can prove it too ! :cautious:. Just look























    securedownload.jpg
     
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  4. Raptorman

    Raptorman Vikings fan since 1966.

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    [​IMG]
     
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  5. Vltrophy

    Vltrophy Cheesehead

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    seeing your a Vikings fan now there's a joke. Also talkin bout the team. They're a joke in themselves
     
  6. Bignutz

    Bignutz I'm a victim of coicumstances!

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  7. scotscheese

    scotscheese Cheesehead

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    I am just back from the hospital the doctor said I will be ok but just to let you know the dyson ball cleaner is a very misleading name.
     
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  8. Oshkoshpackfan

    Oshkoshpackfan YUT !!!

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    No lose of suction ...... false advertising gotcha !!!!
     
  9. scotscheese

    scotscheese Cheesehead

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    First time in 15 years ive actually seen my wife bend down and touch her toes,Bad news though she touched them with her tits.
     
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  10. buggybill2003

    buggybill2003 Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    thats not just funny.............its a winner funny :roflmao:
     
  11. scotscheese

    scotscheese Cheesehead

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    One day in the future, Barack Obama has a heart-attack and dies.
    He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

    "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

    Obama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room.
    In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.

    "No," Obama said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long."

    The devil led him to the door of the next room.

    In it was Al Gore with a sledge-hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

    "No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Obama.

    The devil opened a third door. Through it, Obama saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

    Obama looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this."

    The devil smiled and said...........

    (This is priceless...)

    "OK, Monica ,

    you're free to go."
     
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  12. Vltrophy

    Vltrophy Cheesehead

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    What are 3 things that don't get cold in the winter?
    Polar bears
    Penguins &
    Whores
     
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  13. Poppa San

    Poppa San SB I trophy First of four Staff Member Moderator

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    How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?

    Put a nipple on it.
     
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  14. longtimefan

    longtimefan Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hmmm I saw that before ;)
     
  15. Raptorman

    Raptorman Vikings fan since 1966.

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    A woman was waiting in the checkout line at a shopping center. Her arms were heavily laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. With her agitated state of mind and angry demeanor, it was obvious she was in a hurry and not happy about the slowness of the line.
    When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked indignantly, "Well, I'll be lucky to get out of here and home before Morning!"
    "Don't worry, ma'am," replied the clerk. "With that wind kicking up out there and that brand new broom you have, you'll be home in no time."
     
  16. Terre Haute Cheesehead

    Terre Haute Cheesehead Cheesehead

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  17. buggybill2003

    buggybill2003 Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    Sure thats not just wishful thinking ?....lol It took me several looks at the photo before I noticed she had blonde hair ;);)
     
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  18. scotscheese

    scotscheese Cheesehead

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    A son asked his mother the following question: 'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies: 'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.' The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. 'Dad why are wedding dresses white?' The father looks at his son in surprise and says: 'Son, all household appliances come in white.'
     
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  19. Defense92

    Defense92 Cheesehead

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    Weather Conditions --- I Just got off the phone with a friend who lives in North Dakota.

    She said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is 32 below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. Wind chill is -59. Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.

    She says that if it gets much worse, she may have to let the drunken bastard in.
     
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  20. scotscheese

    scotscheese Cheesehead

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    I can't find my 'Gone in 60 seconds' DVD,

    it was here a ****** minute ago.
     
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  21. Forget Favre

    Forget Favre Cheesehead

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    Oh man!
    That is a good and clever one!
     
  22. Forget Favre

    Forget Favre Cheesehead

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    A koala bear ends up spending time with a prostitute. (Don't ask. Just BEAR with me here. LOL)
    When he is done with her he starts to head out the door.
    She yells after him, "Just a second buster! You have to pay me for what you just did!"
    The bear shrugs his shoulders with a confused look on his face.
    The hooker calls him over where she opens up a dictionary and says to him, "OK you see what it says here under the word "Prostitute?" A woman who charges money for others to have sex with her."
    The koala bear takes the dictionary from her, flips a few pages until he finds what he wants to show her.
    He hands the book back and points to an entry and she reads, 'Koala Bear A marsupial from Australia which is known to eat bushes and leaves.'
     
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  23. scotscheese

    scotscheese Cheesehead

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    A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the Salt! USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'
    The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm ****** driving.'
     
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  24. Forget Favre

    Forget Favre Cheesehead

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    U2 was putting on a concert.
    Sometime during the show, in between songs Bono started clapping his hands every 5 seconds.
    "Every time I clap my hands," Bono says, "A child somewhere in the world dies."
    A voice cries out from the crowd, "Then stop clapping your hands you bloody stupid idiot!"
     
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  25. Vltrophy

    Vltrophy Cheesehead

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    Roflmao
     

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