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Post a Joke Thread

Discussion in 'The Atrium' started by robdog, Apr 29, 2009.

  1. robdog

    robdog Administrator Staff Member Administrator

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    Just something else for shits and giggles. If you think you have a funny joke, post it here.
     
  2. danielchile

    danielchile Cheesehead

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    Two neutrons are walking down the street, when one suddenly stops and screams "Oh My God! I lost an electron!"
    The other one question: "Are you sure?"
    "Yeah! I'm positive!"
     
  3. Green_Bay_Packers

    Green_Bay_Packers Cheesehead

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    LOL

    I got one

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    To get to the other side
     
  4. GBpsyco

    GBpsyco Cheesehead

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    Did you hear the one about the baby seal that walked in to a club.....
     
    • Disagree Disagree x 1
  5. Green_Bay_Packers

    Green_Bay_Packers Cheesehead

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    LOL! thats funny
     
  6. longtimefan

    longtimefan Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Oakland Raiders
     
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  7. PackersRS

    PackersRS Cheesehead

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    The Batlimore Ravens just traded for Tony Moll.
     
  8. Green_Bay_Packers

    Green_Bay_Packers Cheesehead

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    I got one

    New England Patroits

    IM FUNNY!
     
  9. GBpsyco

    GBpsyco Cheesehead

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    What has 10,000 legs and cant walk?
























    Jerry's kids
     
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  10. TrumpetJ

    TrumpetJ Cheesehead

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    18-1 lol

    My friends and I STILL say that randomly just to get a good laugh.
     
  11. tfrentz

    tfrentz Cheesehead

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    Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
    A1: Thanks Guys.
    A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
    A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
     
  12. A-Rod_is_God

    A-Rod_is_God Cheesehead

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    3/4 of the Earth is covered by water, the other 1/4 is covered by Charles Woodson. That's going in my signature
     
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  13. Mr. StyleZ

    Mr. StyleZ Banned Banned

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    Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

    Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.

    A few weeks later, Johnny's dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy's balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"
     
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  14. Tecmo

    Tecmo Cheesehead

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    Where do waitresses with 1 leg work?

    IHOP.
     
  15. jEtS60

    jEtS60 Cheesehead

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    fixed :D
     
  16. Forget Favre

    Forget Favre Cheesehead

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    A duck walks into a bar.
    "I want a grape. Ya got any grapes?" He asks.
    "Nope." Says the bartender. "We only got beer, mixed drinks, and wine."
    The duck leaves.
    The next day, same duck same bar.
    "I want a grape. Ya got any grapes?"
    "Look I told ya yesterday" came the reply. "We don't serve any grapes here. Just beer, mixed drinks and wine."
    The next day the same thing with the same duck.
    "I want a grape. Ya got any grapes?"
    "Hey Mac!" Shouts the same bartender. "I'm getting sick and tired of you asking me for grapes all the time when we don't have any grapes! Now the next time you ask for grapes I'm gonna nail your bill to the bar with a hammer!"
    "Do you have a hammer?" The duck asks.
    "Uh, nope."
    "Well then. I want a grape. Ya got any grapes?"
     
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  17. turbo69

    turbo69 Cheesehead

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    The Dept of Defense briefed the president this morning.

    They told President Obama that 2 Brazilian soldiers were killed in
    Iraq .
    To everyone's surprise, he collapsed onto his desk, head in his
    hands, visibly shaken, almost in tears.

    Finally, he composed himself and asked, 'Just how many is a
    brazilian?'
     
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  18. 3irty1

    3irty1 Fear the Dreads!

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    You both spelled Al Harris wrong, he in fact covers the other 1/4. and for the love of God, Woodson isn't spelled W-A-T-E-R, its spelled W-O-O-D-S-O-N... you guys need some spelling lessons :D
     
    • Like Like x 1
  19. ivo610

    ivo610 Cheesehead

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    And God Created Wisconsin ...

    God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

    He inquired, "Where have you been?"

    God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

    Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

    "It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

    "Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

    God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

    God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

    The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

    "That's Wisconsin , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful rivers and streams, lakes, forests, and hills. The people from Wisconsin are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things. Champions shall come from here!"

    Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

    God smiled, "I will create Minnesota , wait till you see the clowns I put there. They will field a football team to provide entertainment, they will wear purple and play in a domed stadium."

    Michael inquisitively asked, "Why a domed stadium?"

    God chuckled and said, "You see Michael,...even I don't want to watch them play football."
     
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  20. Raptorman

    Raptorman Vikings fan since 1966.

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    Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day.

    As they walk, they come across a sign: "Contest: Looking for the most
    beautiful woman in the world."

    "I'm entering!" said Snow White.

    After the contest she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya do?"

    "First Place!" said Snow White.

    They continue walking and they see a sign: "Contest: Looking for the
    strongest man in the world."

    "I'm entering," says Superman.

    After the contest he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"

    "First Place," answers Superman. "Was there any doubt?"



    They continue walking until they see yet another sign: "Contest! Who is the
    greatest liar in the world?"

    Naturally, Pinocchio enters.

    After the contest he returns with tears in his eyes. "What happened?" they
    asked.



    "I came in 2nd; who the hell is this Brett Favre, anyway?" asked Pinocchio.
     
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  21. Raptorman

    Raptorman Vikings fan since 1966.

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    An old Pilot, wearing his wings on his shirt, sat down at the Mug and Bean and ordered a cup of coffee.

    As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..

    She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

    He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeronca's, Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29 and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot.'

    She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

    The two sat sipping in silence.

    A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

    He replied, 'Well.....I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'
     
  22. Raptorman

    Raptorman Vikings fan since 1966.

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    EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 50

    Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

    With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

    Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.

    Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)
    ..

    Then.

    ..

    ..
    After you feel confident at that level, Now put a potato in each bag.
     
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  23. Forget Favre

    Forget Favre Cheesehead

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    ^LOL
    Those are good ones.

    And in regards to the pilot/lesbian, I've seen it before only with a cowboy instead.
     
  24. JBlood

    JBlood Cheesehead

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    Lee Trevino: "I only hit 2 balls solid today, and those were when I stepped on a rake in a bunker."

    [​IMG]
     
  25. VolvoD

    VolvoD Cheesehead

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    OK...get ready for some corny ones..........................

    2 antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. the wedding wasnt anything special...but the reception was terrific!

    ---

    One night a madgician was driving home and he turned into a driveway.

    ---

    How do spot Ronald McDonald at a nude beach? he's the one with the seaseme seed buns

    ---

    I keep thinking, this frisbee looks like its getting bigger...then it hits me.


    ----

    The Vikings will win a super bowl some day.
     
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