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Okay. Being Serious...

Discussion in 'The Atrium' started by Zero2Cool, Jun 20, 2006.

  1. Zero2Cool

    Zero2Cool I own a website

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    I used to joke around about having ADD, but I'm really starting to think I may have it. I've been fighting admitting it 100% because I hate using excuses for failing.

    Since I went back to school in June '05 I've been noticing my struggle to pay attention and maintain focus.

    I don't really have many people around me to question this on because they are bias'd. --My father was the only person I could depend on an answer that was what I needed vs what was felt that I wanted to hear, I'm pretty sure like always dad would have said 'son walk it off' like everything else, but I jus don't know what I'm supposed to 'walk off' this time.--
    They will say yes you have it so I have an excuse. I don't want an excuse. If its I'm not exerting enough self discpline, so be it. I'll work on that then. But if it is or could be ADD or something I wanna know so I can try to get that fixed.

    I guess some of you are wondering where this came from eh? I was in class today. We just finished lecture. I couldn't recall a dang thing he said. I was 'paying attention' the whole time. Sometimes repeating what the instructor said in my head and reading the Power Point slides. I kept finding myself thinking about work, when I was gonna see Keiana again, if my car's wheel bearing will hold up and what to do if it doesnt, thinking about other classwork assignments. Just random things like that. Then while in lab I was going over all those again and other stuff. The real sad thing here. Where I was for the lab there was another class being held there teaching the use of 3dsmax. I can recall how to center point a geometry and resize it and why the center point is important. I caught maybe 20-30 mins of that class.

    I've taken several of the ADD/ADhD tests. Each says 'We strongly recommend you see a doctor' or something. But seriously, would the website tell you 'You have nothing to worry about, you do not have ADD' I mean where's the money making scenario in that? :shrug: maybe I'm too skeptical.

    A lot of the things they say ADD/ADhD people have, are similar to me and how I feel.

    a few that completely apply to me.
    • * Anxiety/defeatism
      * Hard to pay attention.
      * Strong sense of urgency.
      * Feelings of uneasiness.
      * Inability to have good sleep and feelings of well being.
      * Sometimes you feel anxiety for no reason
      * You can't focus.
      * Making friends is difficult because you are "different" (you miss all the subtle "social cues")
      * Sitting still in classes/meetings...impossible
      * Your relationships suffer
     
  2. Zero2Cool

    Zero2Cool I own a website

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    Check this out...

    http://www-attentiondeficitdisorder.com/ <-- go there...

    find the 'Total is $49.99 only $19.99 until midnight' dealio.

    Notice the date.

    Then change the date on your computer.

    ... that can be done by double clicking your time clock on the lower right of your screen. change it to any day...

    then press F5 on the website


    .... Clever marketing scam huh?
     
  3. all about da packers

    all about da packers Cheesehead

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    Zero, I'm guessing your dad has passed away? My condolences. I have always turned to my father in my time of need, and don't plan on stopping.

    Well the thing is I have had the exact same problem as you this year. I have SLACKED AMAZINGLY, lost all focus, lost sleep, feel constantly uneasy, and I really find it hard to wake up and go to my law office in the mornings because the first couple of hours involve me having to shift through files to make sure I covered all of what was said by the client when we last met. I was worried to, specifically because I think I'm beginning to loose my stomach for work. It's not just that either, when it comes to scholarships for university, I am always sitting for a few hours filing out the forms because I get so side tracked.

    Thing is that almost all my friends have experienced the same thing. When it comes to work and assignments, we all stay up all night the day it is due and finish the work or finish studying. Hell I have an exam on Wednesday, and I've been telling myself I'll get down to studying tomorrow since this past Friday. It is worrying because if this keeps up, I'm gonna be in trouble. But the thing is that I don't think I have ADD. I have been just forcing myself to focus and do the damn work at last minute. It isn't just you who is in this boat, that is what I'm trying to say.

    I know doctors cost money down there, so maybe it isn't the best option, but I don't think what you describe is that reflective of ADD. Missing your daughter/girl is just normal. There are always lectures delivered by people who bore you to no end, and of course to counter that boredom your mind starts to wander. Or maybe you just have so much going on in your life right now that is causing this.

    IMO, Zero don't take this too personally or anything, but would you consider becoming more religious. I have found the best way to remain at ease is to have faith in God, that no matter how bad things get, you always have the all powerful God in your corner. I also find it easier to focus after some religious prayers/readings. It just puts my mind at ease, and allows me to focus on my work better. Sorry bro, but that's the best I could come up with at this late hour.
     
  4. Zero2Cool

    Zero2Cool I own a website

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    http://www.oneaddplace.com/addcheck.htm <-- here's a neat website


    hen you have completed the above checklist, calculate the following:

    1. Total Score: __170_____

    2. Total Number of Items with a score of three (3) or more: ___37____

    3. Score for Item #1: __3_____

    4. Score for Item #6: __4_____

    5. Score for Item #7: __4_____

    Dr. Amen suggests: "More than 20 items with a score of three or more indicates a strong tendency toward ADD. Items 1, 6, and 7 are essential to make the diagnosis."
     
  5. 4packgirl

    4packgirl Cheesehead

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    sending you a PM, zero...
     
  6. DePack

    DePack Cheesehead

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    Zero.......I can't follow your post.



    Just kidding........I hope I didn't offend you by trying to insert a little humor. You did the right thing by coming out with this. I am no expert, but I'm sure there are many here that have experienced the same things. The only advice I can give you is to be patient and TRY NOT TO WORRY. It's easier said than done but when you suffer from anxiety you need to try to relax and work on slowing down your breathing. Worrying about the symptoms themselves causes them to get worse. Just remember, it will pass and things WILL get better.
     
  7. Zero2Cool

    Zero2Cool I own a website

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    The post did jump around a bit huh? lol I'm not offended. It actually takes a lot to offend me, but sometimes my reponsse comes off as that I am offended when I'm jus trying to make light of it.


    Thanks. I hope it pases, but as I get older its getting more profound ... or I'm noticing it more.
     
  8. digsthepack

    digsthepack Cheesehead

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    or.....as you grow a little bit older, the sad state of the world around you confuses/depresses you more than in your youthful, carefree days.

    Just a thought.

    Some years ago I went through the following within a 6 month span:

    Contacted by biological family, defying EVERYTHING I had believed about that moment my entire life, caused a lot of confusion and anger.

    Lost one of my dearest friends to cancer....my 8th dead friend before 35.

    Lost the woman I loved due in large part to the confusion and anger that was mounting from all that preceeded.

    Almost lost my Father to a massive head injury...he survived but is not the same man he was.

    Dog died.

    Downsized.

    Lesson: Some things in this life you can control....work very hard to make the best of these situations and manage them to meet your expectations. Some things you cannot control...don't try to. Deal with the aftermath, but don't kill yourself thinking you could have done something differently.

    If there is something important in your life that is distracting you, it can have known, and unknown, consequences in all areas of your life. Perhaps some introspection on "what's going on inside of me" is in order.

    Hope this helps.
     
  9. Zero2Cool

    Zero2Cool I own a website

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    "what's going on inside of me" -- i feel like im going through feelings an emotions i should have when i was a teenager, not in my mid twenties. when you're younger is when you set that path of 'who you are' and im still remodeling myself personality wise all the time, trying to be better.

    i jus dont know whats going on inside
     
  10. CaliforniaCheez

    CaliforniaCheez Cheesehead

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    Getting you to even take a test and read their Ad is the best part of their marketing.

    Forget it. Men only need five things to be content.
     
  11. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

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    Zero.........i have the same feelings you listed. When i was a kid, EVERY ONE of my report cards said i would do much better if i didn't day dream so much. I ALWAYS day dreamed. I had trouble paying attention. Yet i was still in the top third of my class, and didn't even apply myself in school. They tell kids to "stay away from drugs" then at the first sign of "ADD" or whatever, they pump them full of what? DRUGS.
    To me it sounds like you are still trying to figure out who you are, what your path will be. Remember, as you get older, adult concerns start to pile on where when you are a kid, you don't even think about those types of things. I look at myself, and wonder how the heck i ended up as i am. I don't feel like i have accomplished anything, or have made a difference in this world. I don't have ANY of the things that people point to to say "You are a sucess". It's too late for me, but you have plenty of time to make something of yourself. Just don't sweat it so much. I think you are putting alot of pressure on yourself. That may be whats affecting your concentration.
     
  12. MontanaBob

    MontanaBob Cheesehead

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    Zero,

    Hang in there. As a teacher, I see a number of kids with those symptoms you describe. It doesn't necessarily mean ADD. Take a sheet of paper and list all the things that are going on in your life as of this moment. Then rank them 1 thru whatever. All of us have a lot of baggage we carry around and sometimes it starts to sink us. Start with the lowest number and try to work on that....then go on down the list. Some you can't do a damn thing about and some you can.

    When I was in lower grade school, many, many years ago, my teachers said I couldn't sit still, was always up and about, and my report cards reflected that. I really didn't settle down, so to speak, until college. I met my future wife, and from then on things got better. I settled down, my grades shot up, I got married, had a family, and things worked out.

    I still am up and down all the time and on the move, but that is just the make-up of me. Ask me to sit still for 1/2 hour and I'd kill someone. In short, ADD is an overused term, especially in education. Kids can't sit still, the teacher doesn't want to deal with them...voila...ADD. And that goes for all people....some of us can sit and concentrate for long periods, and some of us can't.

    Hang in there, and look at the bright side.....NFL starts very soon.
     
  13. NDPackerFan

    NDPackerFan Cheesehead

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    Cheesey,

    Very nice post...now that we're on the sentimental side of life though...why do you say it's too late for you to make a difference in this world? I find that very disheartening...anyway, I don't believe it's too late for anybody...just my humble opinion.

    Oh, and by the way, Zero...as a principal of a high school, I hear 'attention deficit' pop up all the time. It's a label that people can use to paint a large group of people with different symptoms, feelings...I don't know you at all, but I would suggest going to a doctor about it. If nothing else, it will ease your mind. Good luck with it.
     
  14. 4packgirl

    4packgirl Cheesehead

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    ok guys -

    can i just say how unbelievably proud i am of each & every one of you who responded to zero?!? i know, i know - i'm a chick & chicks get all gushy about stuff like this but seriously - awesome stuff guys. each of us has our own experiences & sharing them like this is very enlightening & very helpful to others.

    you guys are the best!! :D
     
  15. DePack

    DePack Cheesehead

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    Damn you 4packgirl :lol: .......I was going to type the same thing when I read this. It was real courageous of zero to bring this up and some of the answers will not only help him but will help others that may be feeling the same way or similar.
     
  16. DePack

    DePack Cheesehead

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    digs......you been through alot my friend. I'm impressed that you can keep a sense of humor after going through that.


    BTW......I'm glad I didn't know you til AFTER we were 35 :wink: . Losing 8 friends before that age is brutal!
     
  17. digsthepack

    digsthepack Cheesehead

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    It is not so much having a sense of humor about it...there is absolutely no humor to be found in it. It is merely a conscious decision to not let it consume me as it once did. I basically lost my entire 20s and my early 30s to the pain and anguish that these never-ending incidents produced. Keeping people (particularly my relationships) at arms length......because the pain of potential or imagined loss was simply too much to bear.

    Sadly, the total is now 10..........most recently my oldest friend's wife was killed in an auto accident and, as a result, he also lost the baby girl they were within weeks of adopting.

    Zero....when you are younger it is easier to dwell on what you do not have, rather than what you do have. It may sound cliche, but try to concentrate on what you have.....family, friends, health, a bright future. I spent years being eaten up by what I lost, and in doing so I ended up rejecting others who wanted to be a part of my life.....people who could have filled my tank back up with their love and caring.

    The bottom line is that, as good as life is (and it IS), it is also a perpetual kick to the jimmies. Don't let pain, fear or confusion rule your days...you ARE in control of your life.....grab it by the horns and direct it where you want it to go. If that means getting help of some sort....well, there is no shame in that. It may sound simple, and perhaps a little simplistic, but take charge of those things in life you can control, and DEAL with those you cannot. When you resign yourself to the fact that there ARE things in this world beyond your control, it becomes so much easier to direct your energies fully to those which you can. And I speak from firsthand experience...when you get to that point, life looks a whole lot better.

    My fee is $1.00 per word.....add it up and cut a check...I trust you to do the math properly. LOL
     
  18. 4packgirl

    4packgirl Cheesehead

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    great advice, digsy! i'm making notes for myself also. right now, i'm feeling a little lost myself. as you all know, my dad passed away 8 months ago & my life is a mess. nobody would know it though. i take care of my kids & husband like usual but inside, i'm lost. my brother & i were talking yesterday & we both agreed that to face the idea of our lives NEVER being the same again is very difficult. we had a relatively "normal" life - no divorces, no tragic deaths, etc... so to lose our dad has been the first major adversity we've had to face. i'm trying my hardest to let the fear, confusion, & sadness go & allow the light in. some days i do great & some days i fail miserably.
     
  19. Zero2Cool

    Zero2Cool I own a website

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    It's odd you mention this. I'm told time and time again to stop pushing people out and trying to do it all on my own, but thats the only way I know how. It's my tank so I take responsability for filling it and I don't understand how or why I should rely on anyone else to do it. Now that I really can't do it I feel like I'm failing and its a crappy feeling.
     
  20. digsthepack

    digsthepack Cheesehead

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    Nobody walks through this world alone...even when you feel that is the case. Allow others to help when help is needed; console when consolation is needed; laugh when laughter is needed; etc.

    I should point out, it is you making this choice...perhaps upon further examination you will learn that it was/is a wrong choice. Self-reliance is a very admirable trait in any person, but, like anything, when it becomes extreme to the point that you exclude others from your life, it becomes unhealthy.

    I know men, particularly young men, do not want the appearance of being weak...with some viewing seeking outside help/input as a sign of weakness. **** that!! I like to call it being smart and human. We do not possess a voice to be silent; or ears to be deaf; or a heart not to share.

    Volume discount: $.75 per word!! LOL
     
  21. DePack

    DePack Cheesehead

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    Damn digs......I'm reading it for free....DOLT!!! Maybe you should password protect it!!LOL
     
  22. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

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    ND.....thank you. I just feel like i didn't matter. People look at me and i know many think i'm a complete failure. I don't own my own home, i don't have any children, i'm disabled and can't provide the things i want for my wife. All the things the world points to to say "He's made it" arn't there for me. I know they are materialistic, but thats what the world judges you on. I have the hope of someday reaping what i have sewn, but sometimes i wish i could see some of it now. I am getting very tired.
    Digs.........i lost my dog, my Father in law, and my brother in a 18 day span. I lost my Grandfather and my Dad in a 11 day span. When i read what you went through, i didn't feel so alone. Not that i'm glad you had to go through it.
    Zero.........it's not too late for you to be able to change, and let others help "fill your tank." If we were to do it alone, God would have only made ONE person. We help and compliment each other. You are NOT failing, you are learning. Your talking to us with your deepest thought shows you ARE learning how to cope with it. And not being afraid to show that you have what you see as weaknesses. You seem to be a strong person. And one that doesn't care to let others do for you, as you see it as giving up control of yourself. I don't know if i am right, it's what i take from what i see in your writting. It's NOT a weakness to need help, or need others.
    I know some people that are afraid to get close to others for fear of getting hurt. I can see why, as i have been hurt bad in the past by people i trusted. But then i look at what i may have missed in life had i closed myself up. You have to take the good with the bad.
     
  23. Zero2Cool

    Zero2Cool I own a website

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    I don't know how to explain it so anyone else can understand. But, its like I can see all the pieces but don't know how to put them together or where to start.
     
  24. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

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    I wish i could help you Zero. Maybe i'd have some purpose then! :wink:
     
  25. digsthepack

    digsthepack Cheesehead

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    Dude...that is what being in your 20s is all about. Today moreso than ever! I was QUITE happy to leave my 20s behind me. They are quite like a volatile economy...the highs are very high and the lows are very low. Once you reach your 30s, it begins to settle out and things become easier and much more well defined.
     

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