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MontanaBob tangles with Killer Squirrels

Discussion in 'The Atrium' started by MontanaBob, Dec 31, 2007.

  1. MontanaBob

    MontanaBob Cheesehead

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    Happy New Year everyone! :D MontanaBob has delivered again with another adventure with the wild animal kingdom of Western Montana. This time it's those killer squirrels.
    We used to have a wood stove in our basement family room, but took it out a few years ago. We left the cement block chimney standing (it's only 25 feet high) against the side of the house. I blocked off the top of the chimney with wire mesh and concrete. "Aha, I said, this should keep those racoons and mountain lions and grizzly bears out." Little did I realize that those ferocious, wire and concrete eating squirrels would go at it.
    This past fall we heard noises that sounded kinda like Cheesey chewing on wood. I shrugged it off.....until I went up on the roof in October to get leaves out of the gutters and looked at what was left of the wire mesh and concrete. Man, these critters can chew. Nothing left of the mesh and cement.
    So....yesterday morning I decide enough is enough. I'm fighting back. I got all my tools assembled, got the TV tuned to NFL, and went after those critters with all guns ablazing. I knew where the old stove pipe went into the concrete wall in the family room and I proceeded to cut a square out of the knotty pine paneling to get at it. Sh_ _ !! Off by 3 inches!! Okay, another cut and I'm at the hole.......looking eyeball to eyeball with one pissed off squirrel. He takes off back up the chimney while I grab another beer. Packers score again!!!!!
    So, when all is clear, I take my metal cutters and proceed to cut up several layers of tin and wedge it into the hole. In the process I have managed to cut the crap out of my fingers and blood is now pouring over the tin like fine red wine. This out to really bring in the mountain lions now.
    Then to top it off I take several pounds of rocks and mix up some cold setting cement and seal that hole up tighter than King Tuts tomb. Cuts and concrete really do not mix.

    Put the paneling back on and it looks just fine....at least Red Green would think so. In the mean time, I'm type B blood, so if any of you can spare a pint or two.......!

    Have a happy New Year.
     
  2. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

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    LOLOLOLOL!!!!
    Bob......i just don't KNOW about you!
    Do you know what the REAL problem was???? The squirrels could smell the giant "nut" on the other side of the wall, and were trying to get to you.....i mean it!
    Man..........I would have paid money to see that fiasco!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
    You did "Red Green" proud!!!! :D
     
  3. yooperfan

    yooperfan Cheesehead

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    Bob, you might be better off going back to battling the Bison.
    At least that battle didn't cause you to bleed half to death.
     
  4. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

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    Yup....poor Bob has had years of experience battling the bison. He's been doing that since 1976. You know, it was NAMED after Bob. The "bison"tenial! :roll: :lol:
     
  5. Pack93z

    Pack93z You retired too? .... Not me. I'm in my prime

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    Another year another wild adventure for our Bison friend... however I think this one might go on for a bit...


    [​IMG]
     
  6. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

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    LOLOLOL!!! I love that!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
    BOB! Be sure to protect your nuts!!! :shock: :lol:
     
  7. MontanaBob

    MontanaBob Cheesehead

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    My nuts are protected. Still got my cup from being a catcher in Legion Ball in Milwaukee. I did stop bleeding late last night, and today I'm watching those fuzzy critters scurry around trying to figure out how to get back at me.
    I feel like Bill Murray in Caddyshack. I think this could be a long battle brewing here.
     
  8. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

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    OHHH!!! What a PERFECT comparison!!!
    (By sometime early next week, Bob will have blown up half the neighborhood...........and STILL not the squirrels!!!) :lol:
     
  9. yooperfan

    yooperfan Cheesehead

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    This does sound like a potential movie.
     
  10. Pack93z

    Pack93z You retired too? .... Not me. I'm in my prime

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    The squirrels will think they have won the battle... again good luck and hope all goes well.

    [​IMG]
     
  11. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

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    WHOA!!!!!
    That looks more like a "Chernobyl" squirrel!!! :lol:
     
  12. wpr

    wpr Cheesehead

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    Killer squirrels too funny.
    My son is a member of the Nat'l Guard. In Nov they headed for one of the camps in WI. They had to stay up all night and sim guard duty on a perimeter.
    They got to talking on their radios. Someone saw something moving. Turned out to be a few squirrels. As the night went on and they grew more and more tired those squirrels became comando paratrooper squirrels with all sorts or weird and funny scenarios.
    The next morning they discovered that their Captain had been sitting there all night as well listening to their stories. He just laughed and let them go get some rest.

    I can now tell him that since he and his buddies repealed their attack the squirrels packed up and headed out to Montana to wreck havoc.

    I am willing to bet that the angry squirrel in your pipe was a part of their advance unit. No doubt he was a Master Sergeant and highly trained in paw to hand tactics. That blood on your hand was caused by his attack only he was so quick you did not realize it. You are lucky to live to tell the "tail".
     
  13. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

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    WPR....you are now an official member of the "NUT" squad! (I'm a CHARTER member myself!) :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  14. wpr

    wpr Cheesehead

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    Great.

    [​IMG]
     
  15. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

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    WOW!!!
    Thats one big NUT you have there. WPR!!! :lol:
     
  16. wpr

    wpr Cheesehead

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    Black Walnut! Great meal on a cold day like today.
     
  17. Packers_Finland

    Packers_Finland Cheesehead

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    I don't understand how squirrels can be of so much harm. We have some of them here, but they're quite tame. Some of them will take food from your hand if you offer it to them. The most harm I've ever had with them, was when one fell from a tree right on my car's windshield. Scared the living hell out of me.
     
  18. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

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    ANY cornered wild animal can do serious damage, even a squirrel! If it feels cornered, believe me, those sharpe teeth and claws can do some damage. It wouldn't kill you, but could rip you up a bit!
     
  19. wpr

    wpr Cheesehead

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    Squirrels around here usually just chew things up. They try and get into houses through the roof or through some small opening.
    They can do a lot of damage.
    Not too many are going to attack a human unless provoked.
     
  20. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

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    I was hand feeding one once by my Mom's house.......instead of biting the nut i was giving it, it's teeth tore into my thumb. Laid it open like a razor knife. It didn't do it on purpose, but that didn't stop the pain (or bleeding) i was terrified that i'd get rabies or something. I went to the doc, and he assured me squirrels usually don't care the disease. I had to get a tetanus (sp?) shot though.
     
  21. Packers_Finland

    Packers_Finland Cheesehead

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    I remember when I was a kid my pet quinea-pig bit me to my index finger. I was trying to check it's teeth when suddenly those fangs are all over my finger. I still have a scar on it.
     
  22. yooperfan

    yooperfan Cheesehead

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    The poor squirrel just couldn't decide which nut to eat first so he chose the cheesey nut.
     
  23. Pack93z

    Pack93z You retired too? .... Not me. I'm in my prime

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    And to this day. all of squirrel nation has heard of the "cheesey" nuts.. :shock:

    [​IMG]
     
  24. wpr

    wpr Cheesehead

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    Pack 93 some times you can be so cruel. :D
     
  25. Pack93z

    Pack93z You retired too? .... Not me. I'm in my prime

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    All in fun.. everyone man or beast loves them a little Cheesey. ;)
     

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