1. Welcome to Green Bay Packers NFL Football Forum & Community!
    Packer Forum is one of the largest online communities for the Green Bay Packers.

    You are currently viewing our community forums as a guest user.

    Sign Up or

    Having an account grants you additional privileges, such as creating and participating in discussions. Furthermore, we hide most of the ads once you register as a member!
    Dismiss Notice

IT SUCKS

Discussion in 'The Atrium' started by all about da packers, Jul 6, 2006.

  1. all about da packers

    all about da packers Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Messages:
    7,033
    Ratings:
    +0
    I'm form Queens, NY. I have a ton of friends + family back in NY, and it is like my home away from home.

    Last year, I had a few family friends visit. They brought their kids, and their neice. Their niece and I go way back. We known each other since 2nd grade, used to walk home together, and her cousing and I are great friends.

    So anyways, she came to my house with her cousins and aunt+uncle. I hadn't seen her in like 7 years. Well suffice to say I saw her and couldn't believe how beautiful she had become. This was the same girl I played around with, joked around with, made fun of when she cut her hair short. I sort of fell for her, I didn't expect it to happen, but it did none-the-less.

    I wanted to get to catch up with her, get to know her again. I think she may have sensed that. I asked her to the movies, and in her soft and shy voice she said she'd love to go. We were supposed to go to the movies, I thought it would be a good idea, but her uncle stopped her from going.

    Well long story short, that was almost one year ago. Today, that same girl is preparing to get married, at the age of 18. She has gone over-seas to have a lavish wedding.

    I don't know if I'm pissed, angry, dissapointed, sad or whatever that she is getting married. I would've liked to connect with her, get to know her again, get to once again know the girl I grew up with. I couldn't. I believe whatever happens, happens for a reason. As cliche as this maybe, I guess it wasn't meant to be for the 2 of us. But that doesn't stop me from thinking about what if.

    - What if I had done something differently?
    - What if I came out and told her how pretty she had become?
    - What if I had gotten to know her again?
    - What if I could be at her wedding?
    - What if I was to tell her all this?

    What if... What if... What if...

    I've been thinking about it for the better part of my free time now, and the only thing I know for sure is that this situation SUCKS.
     
  2. Zero2Cool

    Zero2Cool I own a website

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2004
    Messages:
    11,903
    Ratings:
    +8
    That is a tough spot bro. She's only 18 and you're how old? I'm assuming 18-20ish which brings me to the point of mentioning age at all which is you're both young yet. If it was meant to be it will be. She's found what she believes is love at a young age, I'd be envious of her, not angry. I can understand how you would be angry because you maybe feel you should be the one marrying her or atleast having the chance to find out if it would work. You obviously are not angry with her, but merely the timing and perhaps a missed oppurtunity in the past with her.


    - What if I had done something differently? [but you didnt u cant worry about that now]
    - What if I came out and told her how pretty she had become? [becareful how you word it lol]
    - What if I had gotten to know her again? [what if? what bout ur gf now?]
    - What if I could be at her wedding? [that could be a good thing show her u support her]
    - What if I was to tell her all this? [i think it might be best not to say anything unless the right oppurtunity arrose]


    If you want to try and get it brought up, mention what a lucky guy her fiance is. If she is/was interested she'll reply with something that will bait you to say you could have had a chance or not. Ya know something like 'well you didnt like me so i had to find someone else' ... of course I doubt it will be that direct but I think you get where I'm going.


    Hang in there bud, everything in life happens for a reason. Thank god for this even though it may seem like something you don't want to thank god for. I read that in a book too (Prison to Praise by Merlin Carothers while in jail)
    In the book it says to thank god for everything good and bad and you will understand why (in your case the what if's)
     
  3. 4packgirl

    4packgirl Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2005
    Messages:
    2,415
    Ratings:
    +0
    something tells me that when you find the love of your life, you'll be thinking, "geez, what if i HAD gone to the movies with that girl & ended up married to her? then i'd have missed out on my one true love."

    it's all about perspective - right now, you're lonely & sentimental. you'll get over it - trust me. :)
     
  4. digsthepack

    digsthepack Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Messages:
    2,486
    Ratings:
    +0
    Ah....chicks...you can't live with 'em...and you can't live without 'em.

    Sorry man....been there done that...and, yes...it sucks.

    Ever notice, after you have been through the wringer, how many songs on the radio are about love lost and broken hearts? Damn near every one.

    A now funny moment: When my heart was shattered as a younger man, a block of Tom Petty came on the radio as soon as she walked out the door. What songs? "Here comes my girl", and, "Even the losers".

    Tom Petty never regained his lustre.
     
  5. DePack

    DePack Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Messages:
    3,904
    Ratings:
    +1
    AADP........don't you watch movies?

    Get to the airport...board a plane.....go to the wedding .....and just before she says "I do" burst through the door and tell her she can't marry the rich dude that her dad set her up with!!

    Seriously, I think 4packgirl is right. You'll find the right girl and this won't "suck" so bad. You WILL always remember her though.

    Besides.....be happy that you had the time with her.....you can always ****-off to the memories.






    Damn.....I'm guessing that one is going to get this thread moved....or worse!
     
  6. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2005
    Messages:
    1,000
    Ratings:
    +3
    I think most of us have had this happen, at some time or another. I guess you can also look at it as maybe she had changes, and wasn't the same person you knew when you were young. Maybe you wouldn't have got along. Looks are nice, but they do fade.
    I got "shot down" by my first love, i was young and it devastated me. A few years later, i ran into this woman with her husband. She was NOT happy, and was kind of making eyes at me, and making comments to me. I just smiled, and walked away, over to my fiance', and sat down.
    Things DO happen for a reason, and many GREAT points in this thread have already been made.
    I think we have some pretty smart people on here!
    Just hang in there!
     
  7. thetombradyhater

    thetombradyhater Cheesehead

    Joined:
    May 5, 2006
    Messages:
    990
    Ratings:
    +0
    did you just ask your cousin out? is that just me or is that weird
     
  8. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2005
    Messages:
    1,000
    Ratings:
    +3
    He said FAMILY FRIENDS that brought THEIR niece!(not HIS cousin!)
     
  9. Heatherthepackgirl

    Heatherthepackgirl Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2005
    Messages:
    2,274
    Ratings:
    +0
    I think to that most of us have went through this samething at one time or another, it hurts at the time, but you do get over it and you move on. Somethings are not meant to be in life. You will find that special someone someday and this will all be a memory.

    18 IMO is way to young to get married anyways, I got married the first time at age 18 and truly I didnt know what love was, I was married for 19 years and gave it my all, now I am with a man that I truly love and gosh at 40 I should know what love is..I have been happily married for over 5 years..so good things do happen if you give it patience and of course through the years hopefully we get wiser.

    Hang in there and just remember the memories, that special someone will come along and then you will say to yourself "what was I thinking"?
     
  10. NDPackerFan

    NDPackerFan Cheesehead

    Joined:
    May 20, 2005
    Messages:
    2,253
    Ratings:
    +4
    If she truly is the one that is supposed to be with you, it will still happen. I read somewhere that 1 out of every 2 marriages end in divorce. Maybe you just have to wait and bide your time. In the meantime, you should support her in her decision and be there. You can still get to know her if she wants that to happen as well through friendship. Start with that...

    Oh, yeah..and during this time you should be keeping your eyes open in the single scene for that other 'miss right' that might cross your path and you won't think the situation SUCKS quite as bad then. Good luck.
     
  11. digsthepack

    digsthepack Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Messages:
    2,486
    Ratings:
    +0
    There are a thousand "Miss Rights" out there for you....don't buy that "one soulmate" crap.

    Soulmate? Jesus...the stench of hippies still fills our vocabulary like petchulli fills the air in Duluth.

    For those too young to remember, petchulli is some oil unwashed hippies used to cover their bodies in to hide their stink. It was truly a coin toss which was worse.
     
  12. all about da packers

    all about da packers Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Messages:
    7,033
    Ratings:
    +0
    Thank for the replies.

    Zero, the thing is that with my current gf, inevitably I believe we will have to end it. I'm 18 too, a few months old than her. I mean if I ever did talk to her again, not sure if I will, but I couldn't bring myself to ask her if we had a chance, I mean like seriously if she said yes, things would just....

    4pack, you know me situation better than anyone here, maybe the two are related? I don't know, but it just seems hard to think someone else will come along, even though it is bound to happen.

    ND & Heather, the thing is that I mean I couldn't wish for her marriage to not work, I would rather she not go through that pain and experience. Trust me, I've been exhausting myself why she would do this at the age of 18, and I just don't know the answer. I think if anyone could make the marriage work, it's her because she just has this personaltiy to her. She is soft spoken, relaxed, easy going, yet fun to be with.

    I still remember the day she was leaving, I had to go to work, and we made eye contact, for what seemed like eternity, and I walked out to leave for work. I regret not doing something there, showing something more.

    DePack, this isn't hollywood, but I'd be lieing if I said I didn't think about doing that. But it would never work in real life, I'd make an *** of myself.

    Cheesy, you can probably understand why I wouldn't want anything but happiness for her, I mean I'd guess I was second prize if it didn't work out, but I don't want her to have a bad marriage in the first place.

    I haven't spoken to her in a while. Since I found out she was engaged, I mean I don't know. It's difficult, and confusing. She has my roots, we go way back, she is so damn polite, so damn shy in such a cute way. She would probably have been able to read me like a book on any given day.

    digs, you are right, love songs acquire a whole new meaning once you have gone through the experience. The song unfaithful by Rihanna is something that best sums up what I would like to happen.

    It is a confusing time, because I mean hoenstly I wanted to at least have a chance with her. I couldn't get that, I felt like someone had it out for me since the start.
     
  13. Zero2Cool

    Zero2Cool I own a website

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2004
    Messages:
    11,903
    Ratings:
    +8
    AADP, as per what DePack said, sometimes women like a man who's not afraid to make an *** out of himself for her. That's not just 'HOLLYWOOD'. It does work, maybe not that specific sequence, but if you go out of your way, put your *** on the line to show your devotion for a woman, that's what its all about. Doing something you don't HAVE TO (in urs u do have to though) do for someone and even makes it mean more when it seems like all is gone for not.

    Believe in fate all you want, its a good thing, but I'm also a believer in you have to MAKE fate work sometimes, like a good swift kick in the ***.

    <this better merit more than a three line reply! :) lol jk>
     
  14. thetombradyhater

    thetombradyhater Cheesehead

    Joined:
    May 5, 2006
    Messages:
    990
    Ratings:
    +0
    o guess i didn't read it close enough, i saw family and niece and thought since his family brought a niece it was his cousin

    EDIT: actually i only read about half of it and didn't get to the part about her getting married, wow that does suck
     
  15. DePack

    DePack Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Messages:
    3,904
    Ratings:
    +1

    Good advice you romantic fool :wink: Instead of looking for Mrs. "Right", have fun with Mrs. "Right now" :lol:
     
  16. digsthepack

    digsthepack Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Messages:
    2,486
    Ratings:
    +0
    Hey, ZERO....DePack has been making an *** of himself ever since we became acquainted on this forum. To my knowledge the gals are not breaking down his doors....

    ZERO does have a point, however. You guys are kinda young, and have been raised in an environment and age that I think has not benefitted harmonious existences between the genders.

    Simply put, you were probably raised to "be in touch with your emotions", to "be empathetic towards others", to "share your feelings", and to "diminish/ignore the basic psychological differences between the genders". All good things, to be sure (except the last one which is utter BS), but when overdone this tends to diminish one's inherent masculinity in the eyes of gals.

    Yes, they want/need a man who can communicate themselves and be vulnerable, to share intimate thoughts and feelings. But, in dwelling on these apsects of a relationship, while ingoring more traditional aspects of masculinity, you become more of a girlfriend with a dick than a love interest. Sorry, this is true.

    Bottom line is: Girls like men who can do all the soft, touchy feely stuff, within reason. But, when push comes to shove, they still want a guy who is willing to risk himself to protect her from harm...kicking a little *** if necessary, than some guy who would get both parties hurt trying to "empathize" with a bad guy. They also like a man of conviction who is willing to stand up for his beliefs and who is willing to take charge of a situation.

    Now, if you believe there is something there, what harm does a simple phone call do to express your desires....and your regret for not making it known earlier Worst case scenario...she proceeds as planned...no loss except the "what ifs" that surely accompanies inaction. Best case scenario, she finds something to listen to and discovers she shares your feelings.

    If you do make the call, and she does see the light, I hope we are all on the wedding list.

    Good luck, my man!!
     
  17. Zero2Cool

    Zero2Cool I own a website

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2004
    Messages:
    11,903
    Ratings:
    +8
    Being an *** and making an *** out of yourself by putting it on the line for a woman are two seperate things lol
     
  18. all about da packers

    all about da packers Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Messages:
    7,033
    Ratings:
    +0
    You are right, men tend to get caught up in all this "mushy" stuff.

    But the thing is that if I ever met the guy, I'd have no problem punching him, or going over there to interefere in the wedding, or etc.

    The thing that stops me is that well, I'm worried I'll hurt her. I'll do somethign stupid, that she doesn't like, she'll take it personally or I'll just ruin the wedding and hurt her. I can't bring myself to do that to her.

    I wanna call her, but it'd be impossible to talk to her alone when she is busy preparing for her wedding. I mean I honestly don't know what to
    friggin do. I feel so helpless/hopeless.

    <zero, i'll respond to your post latter on in depth>.
     
  19. DePack

    DePack Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Messages:
    3,904
    Ratings:
    +1
    Hey.....why the hell am I being depicted as an a$$ on three straight posts without the obligatory lol after it. Digs, you've known me to be an a$$ before we joined THIS forum and you know the ladies are knocking down the door to get to my a$$. Most of them have some sort of citation with them.


    I gotta admit that "girlfriend with a dick" comment had me laughing my arse off. I'm afraid the visual to our resident tranny, zero, may have been a bit more erotic though. lol lol.


    AADP.....I say what the hell....take a shot. If you are close enough to one of your cousins maybe they can get an idea as to how she really feels. If she says she has feelings for you, give her a call. If she says she thinks you are a flea-ridden troll, well.......






    She probably has you confused with digs lololololololol.
     
  20. all about da packers

    all about da packers Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Messages:
    7,033
    Ratings:
    +0
    One of her cousins and I are best friends, grew up together. Her other cousin and I are brotha's from a different motha. None of my cousins would know about her.

    I've been thinking of telling her cousin who is like a brother to me. But the problem is I think he would get pissed, and no questions ask he would own my ***. He'd snap at me for bringing this up at the worst possible time, and that I should've said something earlier. He would literally be ready to skin me alive.

    I've been contemplating telling someone who I know will understand where I'm coming from, but she is at the wedding too and I don't want to disturb her/ don't know if I'll be able to get through. But at least letting her know how I feel would take a burden of my chest.

    Wish this was something that had a clear cut answer. :(
     
  21. digsthepack

    digsthepack Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Messages:
    2,486
    Ratings:
    +0
    Most important decisions have no clear-cut, or easy, remedy.
     
  22. 4packgirl

    4packgirl Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2005
    Messages:
    2,415
    Ratings:
    +0
    HOLD ON, AADP - don't make those plane reservations yet!!

    you said i know the situation better & i do. there absolutely is a connection between the two. you are trying to replace one for the other & buddy, believe me that's the WRONG way to go. don't let your situation (& mixed up feelings) hurt another person or their happiness - i know you'd never want to do something like that. "rebound" relationships don't last.

    get yourself through law school, have a great time, meet lots of women, & you WILL find "miss right"!!!
     
  23. 4thand26

    4thand26 Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2006
    Messages:
    1,555
    Ratings:
    +0
    YOU ARE WAY YOUNG TO WORRY ABOUT A GIRL.

    You will definately find another girl to be infatuated with (and probably another and another). Seems like you are a sensitive guy. Chicks dig the sensitivity. I am an engineer and have the feelings of a gym towel, or so my wife tells me. If I opened up to her like you opened up to a bunch of internet wierdos here, I would be getting sex every day from her. Instead, I keep my feelings to myself and I keep my Playboy subscription current.

    Don't do anything rash like ruin her wedding day. You will be fine.
     
  24. Heatherthepackgirl

    Heatherthepackgirl Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2005
    Messages:
    2,274
    Ratings:
    +0
    I hope her marriage works to, but these days the percentages aren't there. And the divorce rate is up, some people don't work at marriages long enough they just want out. Its a committment and a very long one, and one that takes work and lots of give and take if you arent willing to do that then dont get married.

    Also my advice to anyone is this: Have lots of things in common before you get married, like some of the samethings, or what happens is you a man goes his way and the woman goes hers. You have to WANT to do things together and have fun lifes to short to worry about the little things. And just remember looks are only skin deep, its inside a person that really matters. A good heart..:)
     
  25. Heatherthepackgirl

    Heatherthepackgirl Cheesehead

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2005
    Messages:
    2,274
    Ratings:
    +0
    Thats all they are worth to...and then you dont know what kinds of diseases they have..LOL..but to everyones own I guess...

    One word....

    Decent girl that hasnt been with hundreds of men and good luck finding one of them...:)
     

Share This Page