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Hi I'm Brett Favre.

Discussion in 'Packer Fan Forum' started by Raider Pride, Jul 13, 2008.

  1. Raider Pride

    Raider Pride Cheesehead

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    By Mike Freeman
    CBSSports.com National Columnist


    Hello, everyone. Brett Favre here.

    You ask: Why come back? Good question.

    Here's the answer. Because I'm Brett Lorenzo Favre.

    And you're not.

    That's why.

    Clear everything up for you?

    If my comeback does anything it should finally make all of you suckers realize that I love me some me. I'm more Terrell than Terrell.

    "Like your style, Brett," said Chad Johnson.

    Thank you, Ocho. I learned from the best, my brotha.

    Did you see me mentioned on ESPN several thousand times in a 13-minute span? Did you see? They set the record for blatant pandering to me, previously held by John Madden. I need my own network.

    People say the sports world is utterly sick of me. False. It's not true that fans throw up in their mouths when they hear my regal name.

    Just Googled myself an hour ago. They're talking about me all over those fancy Internets website thingies. Bored of me? People can't get enough.

    I'm back. Woo-hoo!

    So what if I'm really a selfish, egotistical, franchise-wrecking rube who gives new meaning to the word diva. Who cares? Everyone is talking about me again. Me, me, me.

    Because I'm Brett Lorenzo Favre. And you're not.

    My old teammate Mark "Hot tub" Chmura, referring to me, once said, "People who don't think that it's all about him are fooling themselves."

    Have to say 'ol hot tub nailed that one about the Brettinator.

    But if I retire how will announcers constantly talk about my gunslinger mentality?

    And what about Aaron Rodgers, you ask?

    What about him?

    He's my apprentice in perpetuity.

    His feelings? This is football, people. Brett Favre isn't Dr. Phil. Brett Favre is Brett Favre is Brett Favre.

    Aaron can suck on a lemon.

    So can Dr. Phil.

    When I'm playing for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers next season, Aaron will still be my apprentice in perpetuity. For Christmas I'm sending him a clipboard just so he feels at home.

    Knock, knock.

    (Who's there?)

    Aaron?

    (Aaron who?)

    Aaron where's your clipboard?

    Damn I'm funny. The best part about being me? Playing Jedi mind tricks with GM Ted Thompson. I'm coming back, not coming back. Coming back, not coming back. Pulled the old okey doke on Teddy boy.

    Then Teddy announced to the world that I would be a backup to my apprentice in perpetuity.

    "Quite frankly, it's a little gut-wrenching as an organization to go through it ...," I read Thompson say. "This stuff hurts a lot of people. I mean, it hurts. I'm not talking about physically hurting, but the sensitivity. We understand where the fans are coming from. This is a hot-button issue that surpasses anything I've ever gone through."

    Boo freaking hoo, crybaby.

    And we'll see who wins this fight, Teddy boy.

    One snap of my Hall of Fame fingers and I can have 20,000 cheese heads pepper you with slices of very sharp cheddar. Preferably the organic kind.

    All this time I've fooled the cheeseheads into believing I'm just a humble good old boy when actually I'm Gordon Gecko in shoulder pads.

    Because I'm Brett Lorenzo Favre.

    And you're not.

    Do you finally understand that?
     
  2. JbShell

    JbShell Cheesehead

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    WOW talk about pulling no punches on that one.
     
  3. arrowgargantuan

    arrowgargantuan Cheesehead

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    satire is a helluva drug.
     
  4. de_real_deal

    de_real_deal Cheesehead

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  5. PackOne

    PackOne Cheesehead

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    Mike Freeman.
     
  6. PackOne

    PackOne Cheesehead

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    :pop:
     
  7. de_real_deal

    de_real_deal Cheesehead

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    lol. got me b4 i could click the edit button. High 5 raider :wink:
     
  8. DGB454

    DGB454 Cheesehead

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    You just got lucky. I was about to quote you on the butt hole remark.
    Looks like others beat me too it.

    :pop:
     
  9. 4thand26

    4thand26 Cheesehead

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    Funny.
     
  10. de_real_deal

    de_real_deal Cheesehead

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    Move along, nothing to see here
     
  11. Raider Pride

    Raider Pride Cheesehead

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    "Didn't know you were a baiting ******* raider pride. "

    Well I am! Just ask any Rainbow Trout in the interior of British Columbia.

    Look, If you want to call me an ******* you can P.M. me any time.

    I posted an Op-Ed from a national writer on the subject that took the issue beyond the realm. Send an E Mail to him and tell him he is baiting Favre fans.

    It was harsh, but I think it was satire. It is an interesting read. Doyle has a rebuttal to this article on cbs Sportsline.com You can go and read that. He makes some solid points FOR Favre fans.

    Do not worry about the ******* comment. No worries.

    "What you think of me d.r.d. is none of my business."

    Think about that statement. It will come to you one day, and you will say: "Ahhh Ok. I Get It."
     
  12. tromadz

    tromadz Cheesehead

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    PackOne is fast, man. He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows that you will edit your post, so think it through for goodness sake.
     
  13. Raider Pride

    Raider Pride Cheesehead

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    I smell some nuts roasting on an open fire.
     
  14. PackOne

    PackOne Cheesehead

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    PackOne needs a life.
     
  15. ChiliMaddensChili

    ChiliMaddensChili Cheesehead

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    Good stuff. I think Raider Pride might be my favorite Raider fan ever.

    That popcorn smiley is making me hungry. I could go for some Chili John's right now...
     
  16. de_real_deal

    de_real_deal Cheesehead

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    Derrrr, talk about a half day late and half dollar short. Show me where i called you an *******? Never happened Only thing i see is PackOne quoting me and inserting some words i never typed. There is no evidence. I am innocent.
     
  17. IronMan

    IronMan Cheesehead

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    Yum. I've never had Chili Johns, but plan on trying it this year.
     
  18. Zombieslayer

    Zombieslayer Cheesehead

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    :lol:

    Brett Favre is my favorite player ever, but that there was funny.

    People get offended too easily nowadays. A little bit of satire is a GOOD thing.

    RP - Hope you're enjoying the microbrews. Did you know Portland leads the nation in microbrews per capita?
     
  19. ElleBlue

    ElleBlue Cheesehead

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    I actually, thought that was pretty funny too. Albeit, not true. :lol:
     
  20. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

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    Yes!!! DRD is as innocent as.....uh....OJ Simpson!!!
    IF THE WORDS HE DID NOT TYPE, DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  21. IronMan

    IronMan Cheesehead

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    I remember Barry Bonds was on the cover of S.I. once and it said, "I'm Barry Bonds, and you're not."
     
  22. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

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    Sad as that might be.......there may be some truth in it. Chumura knows Brett VERY well. Whether you like Chewey or not, he was in a position to know the truth. I have heard from others that the "aw shucks" Huck Finn persona was played up alot.
    I think Brett is a smart man, and knows how to play things. I think thats why up to now, he hasn't said anything himself. If his Mom/Brother/agent, whoever, says something, he himself doesn't have to deny it, or back it up with facts. He can just pretend they went off on their own, and not be responsible for anything they say.
    He's not a stupid country boy.........the man has smarts.
     

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