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Headlines from the year 2029

Discussion in 'The Atrium' started by Zero2Cool, Jul 1, 2006.

  1. Zero2Cool

    Zero2Cool I own a website

    Dec 11, 2004
    Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia , formerly known as California.

    White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

    Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

    Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

    Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

    Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

    Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take a t least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

    France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

    Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

    85-years, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

    Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

    Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. (Hummmmmmmmm)

    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

    Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights.

    Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

    New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

    Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

    Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
  2. all about da packers

    all about da packers Cheesehead

    Jun 5, 2005
    lol at the 2nd one, some good stuff.

    LMAO at the 1st one, man maybe it's just me being a defence lawyer and dealing with criminals' rights everyday, but I found that to be the funniest thing ever. Brilliant. I'm gonna be laughing at least till the mornings. Needed that Zero, some solid stuff.
  3. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

    Nov 24, 2005
    And from the SPORTS world,

    Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre still hasn't decided whether to play in 2030. Favre, age 60, has STILL not missed a game in his career due to injury. His streak almost came to an end last season, when his doctors wanted to do season ending hip replacement surgery. Favre however put the surgery off till the off season.

    The Los Angeles Vikings today hired a new General Manager to try to help turn around their losing ways. The Vikings owner, "Carrot Top" was overjoyed when he was able to lure away long time Detroit Lions GM, Matt Millen.

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