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Green Bay Packer FanFiction

Discussion in 'Packer Fan Forum' started by Big Bear Bob, Jun 26, 2012.

  1. Big Bear Bob

    Big Bear Bob Cheesehead

    Jun 7, 2012
    Hey. This is my first time posting here and i wrote this fan fiction about the packers that my wife says is really good but i need a few second opinions so if you have the time you should read it! and tell me what you guys think.
    GO PACK!1!!

    The Day the Packers Beat Kansas City
    Football isn’t just a game. It’s a way of life; a purging of emotions; a complex puzzle; an intricate network of unimaginable feats of teamwork and slaps on the ***. No team possesses these highly marketable attributes quite like the Green Bay Packers. They have one thing that no other team even comes close to, and that’s the power of brotherly love and friendship. Plus they win every game. But the game isn’t about winning. It’s about the shower afterwards.
    In the locker room the Packers were all getting ready for their big game with the Kansas City Chiefs. Aaron Rodgers was scanning the room in quiet thought, observing all his glistening friends. He was proud of them. They had all been best friends since high school and vowed to all be on the same football team someday. That day had come and ever since then, they were inseparable. “If only you weren’t such a stud, Donald” Rodgers sighed to himself as he eyed Driver’s big, tattooed arms. The other team members were weak, but Rodgers was emotionally stable and had never been sucked in by Driver’s charm only to have his heart torn to pieces. Rodgers was the one Driver had his eye on all along and he was the only one he had never been able to entice, tempt, and conquer.

    The locker room was bustling and the players were all whispering encouraging words when a red-faced Coach Mike McCarthy burst in between labored breathes and intense bouts of coughing.
    “Hey there Coach McCarthy!” The excited team shouted in unison.
    “What’s wrong, Coach?” The always compassionate Jordy Nelson asked with concern
    “Well,” McCarthy started “I was sitting in a chair and I had to stand up.”
    “Oh no!” They all cried
    “It gets worse” He continued “I had to walk!”
    Nelson was compelled to put his hand on McCarthy’s shoulder, whispering “It’ll be ok. In no time you’ll be standing on the sidelines doing nothing, just like how it always is. You’ll see.”
    “Our biggest problem is the team we are up against. The Kansas City Chiefs” McCarthy said, catching his breath.
    “OH NO!” The team shouted “They are the hardest people to beat in the entire everything!”
    “Wait…” Greg Jennings said “Weren’t you a quality-control assistant with the Kansas City Chiefs in 1993, your first of 13 years as an NFL assistant, which included six seasons as an offensive coordinator calling plays in New Orleans and San Francisco?”
    “Yes” Said McCarthy “…That’s why it’s so hard to face them now… Never mind the fact that they have a team name offensive to those of Native American decent”
    “Can we have weapons?” One player asked
    a dark smile came over McCarthy’s flabby face. “That’s the good news”
    Suddenly the team noticed the swords in McCarthy’s chubby little hands. They could hardly contain their excitement! “I want you to slaughter those bastards” McCarthy spoke “If there are no teams, then there can’t be a Super Bowl episode of Football, which means we win by default!”
    “Yay!” The room was stirring with joy, anticipating a group hug.

    The gang entered the big, green play pen. The stands were packed. Their swords were hidden in their pockets, yet not forgotten by the team. They were ready to wield them at any moment. Donald Driver was behind his teammates, examining the eye candy in front of him and carefully choosing today’s victim. Suddenly it dawned on him! There was Jermichael Finley, cold, lonely and still a virgin; and Driver loved a tight-end.
    “Hey there, handsome” Driver whispered to him, his lips lightly caressing Finley’s earlobe.
    “Hush. Don’t speak. I’m going to be with you the whole time” Driver’s charm was irresistible
    Finely blushed and realized he was at a loss for words
    “How’s your knee?” Driver said putting his smooth, yet masculine hand on one of Finley’s knees and working his way up to the thigh.
    “It’s been better lately…”
    “C’mon guys!” Aaron Rodgers shouted to his team “Lets kick some Kansas City ***!!”
    “Good luck, handsome” Driver winked moving his sensual tongue from the top of Finley’s neck and down to the small of his back, sending him shivers of pleasure.

    The gang moved to the center of the field, lined up, and did what they did best: bend over. While they were doing that football thing, Greg Jennings was eyeing Finley.
    “Hey. Pssst.”
    “Yeah?” Finely whispered back
    “I saw you with Driver, back there.”
    “Yeah, He’s been really nice to me lately”
    “Don’t you see what he’s doing?” Jennings muttered back “He’s doing exactly what he did to me and all the rest. He’ll love you and leave you. Things don’t change.”
    “He wouldn’t do that….”
    “He’s only after you because you’re a virgin! It’s obvious. I used to be a tight-end until he made me a wide receiver, then dumped me”
    Finely shrugged it off. He wouldn’t let this get in the way of the game. He had been anticipating this game for 3 years.
    Suddenly someone threw a weird shaped ball and everyone spread out along the field.
    Jordy Nelson was the first to draw his sword, and the rest followed suit.
    “Where did you get a ******* sword, man?!” a guy on the other team shouted as Aaron Rodgers rose his blade and sliced the guy clean in half. When his body fell to the cold ground, Aaron noticed his worst enemy standing there. They were face to face. Rodgers could clearly see it was Kyle Orton, the Chiefs’ Quarterback.
    “Well well well…” Orton grinned “If it isn’t the great and powerful Aaron Rodgers. I see you are resorting to medieval weaponry to win games”
    “I’m not winning a game” Rodgers said with pride “I’m winning at Football”
    And win they did.
    With the help of swords, sweat, and true friendship the Packers beat Kansas City and Aaron Rodgers was able to slaughter his worst enemy in front of millions. It was a beautiful day. Things only got better when they retreated happily in the locker room to take their anticipated shower. The End
    • Disagree Disagree x 3
  2. TJV

    TJV Lifelong Packers Fanatic

    Feb 22, 2011
    The good news: My guess is your wife loves you. The bad news: The homosexual overtones are… bizare. "It's about the shower afterwards."?:cautious:
  3. AmishMafia

    AmishMafia Cheesehead

    Sep 27, 2010
    Big Bear Bob - that really sucked. Figured you were a bear fan before I started reading. Couldn't finish it. I was hoping for some humor, even at the Packers expense, but all your best was gay issues.

    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. 7thFloorRA

    7thFloorRA Cheesehead

    Jan 19, 2011
    I would say you should hand write that and send it to the PA State Penn for your buddy Jerry.
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  5. Shopgirl

    Shopgirl Cheesehead

    Jun 19, 2012
    Fanfiction or Fanfantasy?

    Getting your laughs from a group of people that are discriminated against and reviled by people like you. Really?

    NACHOMAN Sailing the seas of cheese

    Sep 27, 2011
    Then suddenly Bob woke up from an afternoon nap. This was not because he was a hard worker, more due to the fact that he had no job. Bob had pursued his dream of writing for many years, but he kept many of his unfinished novels and manuscripts in the closet. Bob scratched his head and wondered what the dream could have meant. "Hmmm, It must be the duality of my being. The Packers represent what it is to be a manly men, who drink beer, and like their brawts served to them by attractive women. The ambiguous sexual undertones must represent my true feelings that are bursting to get out with no shame." "Hmmm pride. Thats what it is. It's that I wish that I could have the same pride about who I really am, as Packer fans have for their team." Bob finally got it and skipped with pride everywhere he went. He even got a job at the Rainbow Candy Factory , packaging fudge. Bob thought to himself, "Next step is to move out of Mom's basement, after all, I am 45." With a smile and a tear in his eye Bob looked to the heavens and said, "thanks Vince.. THE END
  7. GWheels

    GWheels Cheesehead

    Jan 31, 2011
    If this story was a person, it would be the cop from the Village People.
  8. Kitten

    Kitten Feline Cheesehead

    Sep 13, 2010
    I am not even going to pull a literary edit on this one....
  9. I_am_smoked_cheddar

    I_am_smoked_cheddar Guest

    You should be discussing your personal problems with your psychologist! You need help. Please go get some before you get worse.
  10. GreenBlood

    GreenBlood Banned Banned

    Aug 9, 2008
    I think it's time to lock this one.
    • Agree Agree x 2

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