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Funny stories

Discussion in 'The Atrium' started by all about da packers, Sep 21, 2006.

  1. all about da packers

    all about da packers Cheesehead

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    Add your own stories. :)

    I'll go first:

    About a year ago, my sister broke her hand. Well she was excited at first, and then got tired because she couldn't go outside to play or most of the kid stuff she used to do.

    So I was in my bedroom doing work, when she came in and started bothering me. Eventually she said "I'm bored, I can't do anything with the cast on."

    Well a lightbulb turned on in my head. I told her there was a way to fix her broken hand. All she had to do was stand upside down, on her broken hand. I told her the logic behind this was that since she would put pressure on the hand going down, the floor would apply pressure on her hand upwards. This would cause the bones to come together, and it'd be as good as new.

    Well she thought for a few seconds, then asked "Are you sure?". I asked her if I'd ever been wrong before in stuff like helping her with her homework. She said no, and I said well there you go. So I left the room, and my sis headed downstairs.

    Low and behold, about 5 minutes later my dad YELLED my name. I ran down as fast as I could, only to see my mom, sister, and dad ready to pounce on me. Apparently my sister had actually tried it in front of my parents. Dad gave me a verbal bashing, and then when he told me my sister tried to do that, I burst out laughing.

    Bad move. That just got him madder, but it was SOOOOOO funny.

    :rotflmao:
     
  2. tromadz

    tromadz Cheesehead

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    (Thats why I dont trust lawyers)

    Ok, heres a funny one. So me and my one (ex)friend were vying for the same girl at this party. Now, like football, I knew the winner of this would be the one who made the least amount of mistakes. Well, somehow crackers are out, and cheese whiz is available....and he gets a *******, gets the cheese whiz, puts a cheese whiz heart on the *******, and gave it to her.

    That stuff won't fly in my circle of friends. He was torn apart by everyone(mostly me). I won the girl! (although that didn't last long, go figure)

    He is known as "The Whiz" till this day.
     
  3. all about da packers

    all about da packers Cheesehead

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    Surely you can do better!

    I found the one of you running out of the shower when you saw a spider once to be much funnier. :)
     
  4. tromadz

    tromadz Cheesehead

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    no, the whiz is legendary.
     
  5. digsthepack

    digsthepack Cheesehead

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    In college, my roommate got really drunk at a party we threw, only to be found about 4 am slumped over on the toilet (passed out) with his face in the far corner (where every guy missed all night) and his left arm under the tank...his shoulder locking him in as it was stuck under the edge of the toilet tank. Precariously balanced on his hip, both feet off the floor, unable to extricate himself.....completely naked, hairy *** greeting us as we opened the door.

    Toilet was boxxed in in the corner by the shower cube and vanity....big people had trouble getting to it. My bud was apparently stuck like that, by his best estimation, for about an hour and a half. For a house that ALWAYS had camera and film, we had none to capture this precious moment as it was all used up during the party.

    He was also part of my drunken Lambeau tale from last week.
     
  6. DePack

    DePack Cheesehead

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    I was visiting my brother in FLA with my pregnant wife. We were at a pool bar at a big name hotel. We proceeded to get smashed from about noon til 6 pm. The bartender was allowing us to "name our specials" for $2. So naturally we went for shots. My wife being pregnant was not drinking so she said she would drive and of course we took full advantage of it.

    When it came time to leave (about $200 later), my wife realized that my brothers car was a stick and she had never driven one. They started arguing over who would drive. While they were arguing, of course nature called, so I stepped behind a bush and started relieving myself on the black wall of the building. All of a sudden my brother starts honking the horn. My thought was "goddamnit he's just trying to draw attention to me". So I let it go and totally evacuated myself on that black wall. As I was zipping up I looked close and realized that that black wall was the heavily tinted dining room window of the hotel that you can see out but not in. I put my hands up against the glass and looked in to see a full restaurant eating dinner including a couple right up against the window.

    I can't tell you how fast I was able to reach my brothers car and get the hell out of there. My wife wasn't real pleased but hell....it was her fault. Who the hell doesn't know how to drive a stick?
     
  7. 4packgirl

    4packgirl Cheesehead

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    roflmao, depack!! :D btw - even though i'm a farm girl - i've never been able to drive a stick shift!!

    let's see...a funny story you want?? i'm trying to think of some that aren't x-rated. i'll have to get back to ya - this might take awhile. ;)
     
  8. Ryan

    Ryan Cheesehead

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    OMG DePack that is awesome...
     
  9. 4packgirl

    4packgirl Cheesehead

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    ok, i thought of one that is similar (believe it or not) to depack's! here goes...

    freshman year at ISU (illinois state univ) a bunch of my friends hit some frat parties & were feeling no pain as we headed back toward our dorms. we're near some of the lecture halls when the call of nature hit me. i seriously had to pee pee. since i'm a farmgirl - i thought wt heck - i'll just go right here, under these bright lights, next to a busy street, & near the windows of a lecture hall. so, i cop a squat & suddenly the lights of the lecture hall come on & i realized they were having some sort of planetary midnite seminar dealy. so, i try to run with my pants around my ankles & nearly ran into a big pillar - i can STILL hear the laughs from the people in that lecture hall AND my friends!! :oops: 8) :lol:
     
  10. MontanaBob

    MontanaBob Cheesehead

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    As a teacher I could write a book about funny things that go on in the gym classes.

    We were using bean bags with a first grade class for developing hand-eye coordination and catching skills. The bleachers in the gym had just enough clearance under the first row that bean bags would slide under. So, ever the inventor of necessity, I fashioned some old broom handles with a hook at the end from a coat hanger. Then the kids could get the sticks and retrieve the bean bags. No problem. One day I heard a little girl yelling and crying. I went over and she put her hands on her hips, looked right at me, and said, " Kianna won't give me a turn. It's MY turn to be the hooker."

    So.....I gave her the other pole and calmly said, "here, now you both can be hookers."

    (and I still have my job!!)
     
  11. cheesey

    cheesey Cheesehead

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    Well......guess i'll have to add one of mine.
    Back when i turned 18 i was quite a party animal. I got drunk at a bowling alley/bar that i hung out at just about every night. Well, i REALLY got plowed that night, and a friend of mine said he would drive me home. I got into his restored 1969 AMX and off we went, down south 27th street in Milwaukee. We were doing about 35mph, it was in the middle of winter, and all of the sudden all i had to drink decided to make a reapperance. So i opened up the passenger door, and started to puke my guts out! I was so bad, i just about fell out of the moving car! Had my friend not grabbed my belt, i would have been road kill. I puked too many times to count! He got me home safely.
    Next morning, he shows up, comes storming into my room with a bucket of hot water and a sponge and says "YOU go outside NOW and CLEAN OFF MY CAR!!!" I was SOOOO hung over!!! But i knew i had to do it. When i looked at the passenger side of the car, i noticed that i had not missed a single inch of it! It was COVERED! Well, it was COLD out, and i started wiping the puke with the hot water........and it "SPRUNG" back to life! You know what i mean, that alcohol/puke mix that anyone that has ever been drunk knows the smell of! Hung over, dry heaving, and cleaning off frozen drunk puke! WHAT FUN!!! :lol:
     
  12. all about da packers

    all about da packers Cheesehead

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    Actually it happened to a friend of my dads:

    He was a telemarketer, and apaprently one of the people he called thought he was a fraud and called the cops.

    Well the cops call the telemarketer, and he panics. He calls a lawyer and asks him what to do. Well the lawyer goes through and basically advises him. So he does what the lawyer says, and everything turns out smoothly.

    Fast forward to 2 weeks later, when this guy gets about a $300 bill for legal advice given. The furious look on the guys face was PRICELESS!!! :lol:
     
  13. all about da packers

    all about da packers Cheesehead

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    Another story:

    One of the lawyers at the firm I work in was being bothered by some weight loss company guy. He kept saying "our product works, its made from natural products, nothing harmful, all natural products, you'll love the results, works amazing because it is all natural products..."

    Well you can see the "it's an all natural product" line was used alot, and the lawyer got really fed up. They guy kept saying it and all of a sudden she yelled out "Yeah well cow $**** is natural too, doesn't mean we should eat it".

    I just fell over laughing, it was so damn hilarious.

    :rotflmao:
     

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