Viking Humor

"The sky's the limit with Jared Allen. And playing inside our dome will only help."

-Leslie Frasier, Defensive coordinator

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/football/nfl/vikings/2008-05-08-sw-jared-allen_N.htm?csp=34

Here are a few I would like to add
Q. How do the Vikings count to 10?
A. 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10

Q. How do you keep a Viking out of your yard?
A. Put up goal posts!

Q. Where do you go in Minneapolis in case of a tornado?
A. To the Metrodome - there's never a touchdown!

Q. What do you call a Viking with a Super Bowl ring?
A. A thief!

Q. Why doesn't St. Paul have a professional football team?
A. Because then Minneapolis would want one!

Q. What's the difference between the Vikings and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar!

Q. How many Vikings does it take to win a SuperBowl?
A. Nobody knows!

Q. What do the Vikings and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

3 DUI's before he turned 26?!?!?!? classy.

he should fit right in with the Vikings. speaking of 3 Dui's...Koren's available again... and you could definetly use some help at the WR position. why havent you gone after him again?

Didn't Koren play for your team last year? Wasn't your future hall of fame QB addicted to pain killers? Can you please explain the difference between being an alcoholic and coming forward for help or being a pill popper and coming forward for help?

There is no difference. But Brett Fav-re is the almighty in WI, so they kindly disregard any demons in his past.

BTW< no wonder KoRo and Fav-re got along so well. They probably went to AA meetings together.

DISCLAIMER: Just kidding. I do not take alcoholism lightly, and am saddened about any body who throws their career away because of it.

"The sky is the limit." But you can't see or even get close to the sky at the Metrodump.

"That's why playing inside our dome will help."

It's just like the Packer fanbase to knock someone for a problem which affects millions of Americans and have the same problems on their beloved team. Ease up...it's not like Viking players are arrested for a sexual offense involving a minor.

I get it now Brett Favre becomes addicted to pain killers, recognizes the problem and comes forward like a man, seeks help, and he is great.

Jared Allen has a problem with alcohol, enrolls himself into AA after his arrest and now he is a classic Viking!!!!

Packer logic at it's finest!

Come with it now...how many superbowls have the Vikings won again?

What I don't understand is why he is labeled an alcoholic. Had he been an alcoholic, he would have been showing up to practice/games, intoxicated. He got drunk a few times on his days off, and CHOSE to drink and drive. I think "alcoholic" is thrown around too much. Yes some people are alcoholic, where they need to be drunk 24/7. Getting drunk and CHOOSING to drive cannot be blamed on "alcoholism" Some people just make stupid choices. And those people get no sympathy from me.

And yes I feel no sympathy for Koren either. I got slammed last year at another forum when everyone else was feeling sorry for Koren when he was banned from the Packers facilities. I did not agree with Brett Favre when he said they were turning their back on Koren. He wasn't an alcoholic. He didn't need any help. He just needed to stop driving while he was drunk. Ok, I'm off my soapbox now.

please son.... i dont even need the super bowl argument to display how much of a better franchise Green Bay is. and i never said Koren or Brett was ok for what they did. but we didnt sell our entire draft and give a guy with 3 dui's before 26 years old 31 MILLION DOLLARS either. Im 26 years old and drink like a fish... but im smart enough to not get a DUI. and definetly smart enough not to get 3. Koren and Brett did stupid things and their salaries put together wouldn't equal a months pay of Jared Allen. hell you can throw in Chmura too... just to get all of Green Bays demons out there and it still isnt close to Jareds pay.

thats just one of the many many things that make this organization 10x the Vikings. we would never make that move. 31 million dollars and several draft picks for a guy that at any moment could be slapped with a 1 year suspension????. Its just not smart investing on your teams part. But the organization knows that if you spend money, the brain dead fan base thinks your doing something and you get a free pass for a couple months.
I mean we really really dont wanna start comparing criminal histories again.

You cheer for the Vikings. when you make that decision... you make the decision to cheer for all that comes with it. That means the bad and the not as bad.... because there is rarely any good. you've obviously made a bad decision and have to live with it and it torments you. just accept it and move on.

Great points Ironman.........i didn't think of it that way. Poor judgement doesn't necessarily make you an alcoholic.

A little 6 year old girl's parents were getting divorced. She was at the custody hearing when the judge asked her "Do you want to live with your Dad?" she said "No sir! He beats me!" So the judge asked her "So then you want to live with your Mom?" And again she said "No sir! She beats me too!!!" So he asked "Well then......where DO you want to live?"
And she said "I want to live with the Minnesota Vikings!.......they don't beat ANYBODY!!!" :lol:

Ahhh I have to interject and disagree to a point.. using myself as an example.. am I or am I not an alcoholic? Since most of you don't know me.. I consider myself one... here is why.

Do I drink everyday, every week or every month? Nope.. however when I do... I have a hard time finding the stop button.. I am a big guy with a high tolerance.. I can drink like a fish. But many times... I don't know when to stop, do I pass out, nope, but do I drink til I am drunk.. yep without a doubt.

The definition of a Alcoholic is undefineable in my opinion.. it looks different, feels different, and is different in almost every case. And it morphs during your lifetime.. different cycles so to speak..

So just because a person doesn't miss work or show up drunk, IMO, doesn't mean that they aren't an Alcoholic. At least in my mind..



Yikes.. <<burnt the soapbox>>

Good points too Pack93Z......i used to not be able to stop too. Fortunatly, i overcame that, and can have a beer or 2 and stop.

You are considered an alcoholic if drinking acolhol causes you problems. Obviously, repeat DUI's means you have issues handling alcohol and making decisions around it. KRob is an admited alcoholic. KRob feels it is such a problem that he freely takes a pill daily that makes him seriously ill if he ingests any alcohol.

Jared is going to AA. there is a reason it is called ALCOHOLICS Annonymous!

Reason you can now view Brett in a different light is because it has been over 10 years since he drank or abused painkillers. Jared just signed up.

Iron, most alcoholics are not the 24/7 type. They are called "functioning alcoholics," meaning they don't drink all the time. They get up, go to work, come home and drink in their private life. They hold down jobs, can be fairly successfull too in business. It is their personal life that suffers. Their marriage, relationship with kids, their friends, etc.

But what is constant with alcoholics is the fact that alcohol is a vital part of their life. They are willing to sacrifice other things for the sake of drinking. And in return, their life has issues that are caused by the drinking.

someone who goes out and gets hammered from time to time is considered "the occasional abuser." An occasional abuser is one who may or may not have alcoholic tendancies. Continued abuse will most likely turn into alcoholism.

Bottom line, if one were to review their experience with alcohol as problomatic in the results then one may in fact have alcoholic tendancies.

Dang

A stupid Assistant coach says something funny and no one laughs.

They are VIKINGS coaches.
One of their job descriptions is to say stupid things.
(That way, not so many people listen to the head coach, and realize how stupid HE is) :wink: :lol:

Come sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of fateful trip
That started from a small lake town
Aboard two tiny ships

The mates were a bunch of pole dancers
But the waitstaff was too pure
The Vikings team set sail that day
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour

The action started getting hot
The dancers strutted their stuff
If not for the prudes in the fearless crew
There wouldn't have been such a huff

The boats turned around and went back home
The authorities came aboard
But fear not friends, 'cause all's not lost
The Vikings finally scored!

--------------------------------------------------------------

Mike Tice's House was Egged

Minneapolis police reported that some individual attempted to "egg"
Mike Tice's house last night.

An empty egg carton was recovered at the scene. Two eggs hit Mr.
Tice's house, 3 eggs went over his house and hit his neighbor's back
door,

2 eggs hit the houses of each of his next door neighbors, and the remaining 3 eggs were found broken on the ground near the carton from where the
individual threw them.

Looking at what was hit, police officials say they are considering
Tarvaris Jackson as the primary suspect.

now i lke those but wasnt all that stuff true :towel:

:rotflmao:

Old joke, and it was funnier when Culpepper - aka fumblepepper - was the QB.

Plus, TJack never played for Tice...

That does not make you an alcoholic 93z. That makes you a smart drinker. If you drink and don't get drunk all you did was waste your money. :wink:

Nah........if it was Culpooper, they would have found all 12 eggs broken on the sidewalk........he would have dropped the carton!!! :wink: :lol: