The Continuing Two Sentence Story

Bruno(cigar man)then punches Jason in the gut & says in his meanest voice "where's those goats?" Jason says oohhh goats,I thought you said boats & was going to sail away & become shark bait.

Well Bruno, about those goats, Jethro ate them. And another thing, Jethro got so big that he will be my new starting Left Tackle this year!

As Bruno & the 2 thugs get ready to immaculate Jason Dave his bodyguard surprises them & ninja kicks their a**. Dave untied Jason & they head to L.A. to check on his plans to move the Vikings.

Jason does not wish to keep the name Vikings when he moves the team to L.A.. So he has his Lawyers arrange a name the Team Contest for publicity only, as he already has chosen the name Knights for his team.

All of a sudden Doc Brown appears in a Delorean that can fly and travel through time. He tells Jason that renaming his team and moving them to LA is a terrible move and he must go with him to the past to before he choose to move the team.

Jason, suspecting a Brownnose trick (and rightly) declines, Rose arrives and they board their private Lear jet to fly to L.A..

At which time Jason realizes its not really Rose, but her evil twin sister Thorn. Jason breathes a sigh of relief as he pulls Thorn close and says 'Glad you're here, Rose was a real prude.'

Thorn then chuckles with an evil grin and says "I am pregnant". Jason thinks to himself "I hope the baby comes out Norwegian, then I can go back to being selfish".

Jason embraced Thorn, said "I love you", then firmly, yet lovingly gave her a gentle push. A thought suddenly struck Jason as he closed the hatch, 'she didn't actually say it was mine'.

Raul sat idling at a crossroad somewhere on the outskirts of El Paso. He thought to himself "L.A. is where I am needed" while he punched the gas on his Escalade and left a strip of rubber pointing West.

Upon arrival in LA, Dave rents a large car and calls ahead for rooms at the Beverly Hilton. Jason contacts Rose, who has gone back to the quiet Wisconsin dairy farm where Jethro reads his Bible between doing the chores, and gathers important documents the LA Lawyers need.

Jason & Dave arrive at the Beverly Hilton and are informed at the front desk that the Lawyers have the important documents being transported by a secret Currier. They then walk to the bar as their bags are transported to their 6th floor rooms.

As Dave and Jason waited on their stools for the bartender to bring them their drinks, a sultry woman in a tight dress confidently strolled in and sat down next to them. Running her fingers through her long blond curly hair she tilted her head slowly and grinned.

Dave and Jason both turned to get a look at their new companion and both recoiled at how ugly the lady was up close. The lady leaned in and in a manly voice said, "Guys, its me, Brad Childress, I want back in with the Vikings."

Being a honest man from Wisconsin, Jason replies, sorry Brad we've moved on and so should you and everyone else. Just then a hush falls over the room and heads turn as in walks Kim Kardashian with her new man Arnold Schwarzenegger.

An emasculated Brad, eager to reclaim his manhood, immediately jumps up, runs across the room and delivers a right hook. Slowly, a shocked Arnold breaks into a grin as he eagerly anticipates the cat fight between Kim and the blond who just punched her.

Raul walks past the fight thinking, "wow Kim kardasian is really,kicking thay ugly girls a$$!'. He strolls up to Jason and Dave, sets down his vacuum cleaner, a bowling ball, and a hola hoop and says, "gentlemen, I'm ready!"

Out of nowhere the the L.A. police bust in with riot gear! Arnold shrieks and runs away like a little school girl.

The LA Police are there to arrest Raul on charges of international drug smuggling and white slavery, he grabs the bowling ball and heaves it at the police as he turns and flees through the kitchen. The "ladies " are still fighting on the floor, ripping and tearing at each other until the burly Bartender pours a pitcher of water on them and they stop.

Two officers help Brad to his feet, as Kim checks her look in the mirror and sauntered off as if nothing happened. Brad feebly wiped the blood from his brow with his trembling finger, "somebody help me find my teeth," he sobbed.

Brad is arrested by the police as Jason and Dave drive to see their lawyers Dewy, Cheatum, & Howe at their downtown LA offices. The lawyers have hired the famous architect Jules Woodchipper to design the new stadium and the general contractor will be the same ones that built the stadium in Dallas, the Stooge Construction Company of Atlanta.

Meanwhile in Dallas... Jerry Jones has heard that Jason wants to make a stadium that is more grand than his. He finds this to be unacceptable and sends Dog the Bounty Hunter to capture Jason.

Jason & Dave return to their rooms at the Beverly Hilton, twenty minutes later they hear a great amount of noise out in the hallway. It is Dog the Bounty Hunter and Raul, they have entered from opposite ends of the hallway and in a hail of gunfire have all been killed (DEAD)!!!

Suddenly, that terrible, oft-hated sound came -- the shrill buzz of that digital demon that awoke him from his slumber every morning. He tried in vain to ward off its call and return, for just a moment, back to his dreamworld of strange and fantastic events, but ultimately, his sense of responsibility intervened and told him, "Jason... it's 3:30 am and it's time to make the doughnuts."

Jason hauled his carcass out of bed as he knew that any chance of his dream coming true depended on remaining in his uncle Mark's good graces. Mark, who Jason heard snoring loudly from the next room, loved his fresh donuts before starting on his morning exercise and body building regime so that he could stay in shape for his Olympic decathlon tryouts.