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The Blonde Joke Thread...

Discussion in 'The Atrium' started by Pack93z, Feb 11, 2008.

  1. Pack93z
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    Pack93z You retired too? .... Not me. I'm in my prime

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    I'll start..


    One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.

    "It's supposed to be a tiger!" Sally cried.

    "Honey," said Dan, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!"
  2. cheesey
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    cheesey Cheesehead

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    I'm BLONDE and i'm SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THESE BLONDE JOKES!!!
    I am OFFENDED by them!!!
    NO MORE BLONDE JOKES, OKAY?????














    (I'm TIRED of having to have people EXPLAIN them to me!!!!) :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
  3. Pack93z
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    Pack93z You retired too? .... Not me. I'm in my prime

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    Holy snikeys... For a second I thought I stuck a nerve with the old Cheesemeister.. whew!!!!!

    With that.. I shall add to the thread..

    Q. What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make?
    A. A wind tunnel.

    Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
    A. Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
  4. SNAP
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    SNAP Cheesehead

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    LMAO......Are you a real blonde??
  5. cheesey
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    cheesey Cheesehead

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    Wait......let me check.......(Cheesey looking down).....YUP! I am!!!! :lol:
  6. cheesey
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    cheesey Cheesehead

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    Had ya going for a second, hey Pack93z??? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
  7. Pack93z
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    Pack93z You retired too? .... Not me. I'm in my prime

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    I have to say... yes you had me going.. I thought now I did it and pissed off Cheesey.. But at least I didn't photoshop anything, lol.
  8. BadlandsViking
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    BadlandsViking Cheesehead

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    There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby conceived ?"

    "He was on top ", she replied.
    "You will have a boy !" the doctor exclaimed.

    The second woman was asked the same question.
    "I was on top ", was the reply.
    "you will have a baby girl. " said the doctor.

    With this, the third women, a blonde, burst into tears.
    "What's the matter ?" asked the doc.
    "Am I going to have puppies ?".....
  9. cheesey
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    cheesey Cheesehead

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    "YET"........LOLOL!!! :lol:
  10. Pack93z
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    Pack93z You retired too? .... Not me. I'm in my prime

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    I think I retired the Blonde nurse, lol.
  11. cheesey
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    cheesey Cheesehead

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    A cannibal goes into a store to buy some brains. he sees "Black hair brains, $6.99 a pound" then "Brown hair brains, $7.49 a pound" then "Red hair brains, $7.99 a pound"........lastly, "Blonde hair brains, $10,000 a pound".
    So he walks up to the store keeper and asks "Why is it 10 grand a pound for blonde brains???"
    The store keeper says "Are you crazy??? Do you KNOW how many BLONDES it takes to get a pound of brains!?!?" :wink:
  12. Pack93z
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    Pack93z You retired too? .... Not me. I'm in my prime

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    Only a blonde could pull off that joke.. well done. :lol:
  13. PackinSteel
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    PackinSteel Cheesehead

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    How can you tell a blonde has been using your computer?
    (scroll down for answer)














    There is whiteout on the monitor....
  14. Pack93z
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    Pack93z You retired too? .... Not me. I'm in my prime

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    [​IMG]

    Forgot something!!!!! :lol:
  15. Raider Pride
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    Raider Pride Cheesehead

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    Cheesey the blonde!

    Hey Cheesey..... Did you hear the joke about the ceiling?
  16. Mortfini
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    Mortfini Cheesehead

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    What do u call 50 blondes in a ring





    A dope ring
  17. SNAP
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    SNAP Cheesehead

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    Here's some:

    Blonde LOGIC
    Two blondes living in Oklahomawere sitting on a bench
    Talking........ And one blonde says to the other, "Which do
    You think is farther away..........Floridaor the moon?"

    The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can
    You see Florida...?????"


    CAR TROUBLE
    A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
    Mechanic it died.

    After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She Says,
    "What's the story?"

    He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"

    She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"


    SPEEDING TICKET
    A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he
    could see her license.

    She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act
    Together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect
    me to show it to you!"


    RIVER WALK
    There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
    blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,
    "How can I get to the other side?"

    The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
    "You ARE on the other side."


    AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
    A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her
    body hurt wherever she touched it.

    "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

    The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and
    Screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed
    her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
    Everywhere she touched made her scream.

    The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

    "Well, no" she said, "I'm actuall y a blonde."

    "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken"


    KNITTING
    A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.

    Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
    wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights
    and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and
    yelled, "PULL OVER!"

    "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"


    IN A VACUUM
    A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled
    the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are
    in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

    She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"



    FINALLY
    A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two New dogs, and
    asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one
    was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

    Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

    "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're
    Watch dogs!"
  18. SNAP
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    SNAP Cheesehead

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    lmao......Let the dead rest!!!!!!!!!!
  19. Packers_Finland
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    Packers_Finland Cheesehead

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    A blonde went to the barber, and told him: "Whatever you do, do not take my headphones off!" The barber started cutting her hair, a cut it to a point where he couldn't cut any more because the head phones were in the way. The barber gently took the headphones off, and continued cutting. When he was finished, he noticed that the blonde was dead. Then he put the headphones on his own ears, and he heard: "Inhale... exhale... inhale... exhale"
  20. Zombieslayer
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    Zombieslayer Cheesehead

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    TMI!!!
  21. MontanaBob
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    MontanaBob Cheesehead

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    The three finalists for the Minnesota Womens' swimming competition were novices but had done quite well in earlier competition. After several heats the scores were tied. This was the final and deciding competition to decide the winner...the Breast Stroke.

    The gun sounded and the three women dove into the water. Betty, a brunette from Bemidji was first first in 10 seconds. Roxie, a redhead from Rochester, finished second less than a second later.

    Finally, Blaire, a blond from Bloomington, finishes almost 4 minutes behind the other two. As she climbs from the pool her coach asks her what happened. "I protest" she stammered and sputtered. "Those other two women were using their arms!"
  22. Pack93z
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    Pack93z You retired too? .... Not me. I'm in my prime

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    A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

    "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what happened to your other ear?"

    "The jerk called back!"
  23. cheesey
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    cheesey Cheesehead

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    No........i think it's over my head!!! :roll: 8) :lol:
  24. mkapp
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    mkapp Cheesehead

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    Blonde walks into a library, goes up to the librarian and says "I would like a cheeseburger and fries to go please"

    Librarian says "Ma'am this is a library!"

    Blonde replies "Sorry, (whispers) I will have a cheeseburger and fries to go please."
  25. cheesey
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    cheesey Cheesehead

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    BOOOOOO!!! HISSSSS!!!! :wink: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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