Here's some things he REALLY said.
"Guys. I don't even know why your here. Or why we even have a coaching staff. I can do it all. Win the games. So just pack up and go home. I'll win each and every game for the Vikes. Remember, I'm the Iron Man. No need for you to be here. So get out of here already."
In regards to the play off game losing interception against the Saints: "I just had to prove to the world that they are still right about me blowing games. If that pass had been completed and we had won, do you know what that would have done to my reputation? I'm not expected to win games. Especially big ones like that.
Sure, I'm a three time MVP. But that is so yesterday.
So I had to take that chance to show everyone that I'm still as wild as I can be and that I am still the interception king of the NFL.
Can I promise that it won't happen again? Of course not.
From now on just think of me as Mr. Unpredictable."
"Guys. I really do think of our coach as a doofus. Anyone who doesn't recognize me as being second to God and tries to take me out of a game is a dunderhead.
Seriously. What is wrong with that moron? Anyone have the name of a good shrink I can send him to to have his head examined?"