Bears jokes

:jester:
Found these in the comments section of NFL.com:

What doe’s a Tampon and the Bears have in common? Only good for one period, they don’t have a second string, and they belong in the trash when you are done with them!!

What do you say to a drunken alcoholic who is passed out on your car after a Bears game? “May I have your autograph Mr.Cutler?”

What’s the sad part of a bus full of Bears fans going off a cliff? There was 6 open seats!

The Chicago Bears signed Jay Cutler to a two-year extension. Or 100 fourth-quarter interceptions, whichever comes first.

Bears QB Jay Cutler has been rumored to be -dating Hills Star Kristin Cavallari. Truth is he made a pass at Heidi Montag, but Kristin intercepted it.

:Cheeky:

Bonus: Patsies joke:
Gisele Bundchen is reportedly pregnant with Tom Brady's child. If Brady can't make it to the delivery, perhaps Bill Belichick will tape it.

You got any?

Q: Why do Packers fans always smell so bad?
A: So the blind can hate them too.

Q: What does a Wisconsin Tornado and a Packer fan going through a divorce have in common?
A: Either way, someone's losing a trailer.

The Seven Dwarfs were marching through the forest one day they fell in a deep, dark ravine. Snow White, who was following along, peered over the edge of the steep chasm and called out to the fallen dwarfs. From the depths of the dark hole a voice returned, "The Bears are going to win the Super Bowl!"

Snow White thought to herself, "Thank God... at least Dopey's survived!"






Why do Bears players keep their Wonderlic results on their dash boards?

So they can park in the handicap spaces.

Q: What did Jay Cutler get on his Wonderlic test?

A: Drool

A:Jagermeister

i heard he was a drunk lol

if a married Packer fan couple get a divorce are they still brother and sister?

You are a retard you come on to a Packers forum and talk trash about us. Your signature is EXTREMELY wrong. Jay Cutler>Aaron Rodgers? Um your wrong

Lets compare and see if the math actually works.
Aaron Rodgers... Jay Cutler
2008 ............ 2008
Yards-4038 ... Yards-4526
TD's-28 ........ TD's-25
Int's-13 ......... Int's-18

2009
Yards-4434.. Yards-3666
TD's-30 ..... TD's- 27
Int's-7 .... Int's-26 (LOL)

2010
Yards-3922........ Yards-3274
TD's-28 ........ TD's-23
Int's-11 .......... Int's-16

Total Yards-12,394......... Total Yards-11,439
Total TD's-86......... TD's-75
Total Int's-31........ Total Int's-60 HAHAHA

See even basic math shows that Cutler is not better than Rodgers.He has not been better than Rodgers one year the whole time Rodgers has been starter. Typical Bears fan so stupid they can't even do basic math.

So the Correct answer is Rodgers>Cutler
:chisux:

P.S. Rodgers is 2-1 in the playoffs to Cuter's 1-0. So he even has more playoff wins.

Not to mention Cutler's one playoff win came against a team with a below .500 record

A teacher tells her class she's a Bears fan. The class cheers except one little girl. When asked who she likes, the girl said the Packers. The teacher asked why and she said "because my mommy & daddy are fans". The teacher replies, "that's no reason to like them, what if your dad was an idiot & your mom was a moron, then what would you be?" The little girl replied back, "A Bears fan!"

This isn't really a joke, it's just something I made

Jay Cutler Totally Looks Like Troll Face - Cheezburger.com

Make sure to give it 5 burgers lol

Here's a good joke I heard:
Q: Why do the trees in Wisconsin lean to the south?
A: Because the Vikings blow and the Bears suck.

i dont talk trash about any team. i just speak the stone cold truth. i think yall are just mad that jay has won 100% of his playoff games in the nfl.

Seeing as Jay's only playoff game was against a sub .500 team, I'm not impressed.

Yes.
Instead of highjacking this thread, let's get back to Bears jokes.
Post 'em if ya got 'em.

Grabbed from Facebook.

A Packer fan, a Viking fan and a Bear fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more. The Viking fan insists he is the most loyal. "This is for the Vikings" he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Packer fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells "This is for the Packers!" and pushes the Bear fan off the mountain!!!!

What is the best thing that comes out of Chicago?...... I-94

Monday I saw a pink bear running across the street, I called the police and they said there’s no such thing as a pink bear. Tuesday I saw a purple bear streak past my front window and I called the police, again they said there’s no such thing! So today before Sunday happened I called the police and before I could get one word out they said there’s no such thing as a winning bears either. I hung up and smiled!

Know why the Bears wear orange? Helps you avoid them.

Last joke - The Bears

Q: What are Jay Cutlers favorite two plays?

A: Sacked and Picked off.

Q: Why was there a traffic jam near Solider Field last week?

A: Some one put a end zone on the street.

Actually, The Chicago Bears are my 3rd favorite team. My favorite being the Packers and the 2nd being any team that plays the Bears.

:chisux:

Jay has only GOT to the playoffs once in his entire career, and his defense probably got them there.

If there's a tornado in Illinois, where is the safest place to go?
Soldier Field--they don't get any touchdowns there!

ask your parents. Explains why you would think Cutandrunler better than Rodgers.

LOL- Yeah played so hard he had to give up and quit on the next one. Although that college team they beat almost was good enought to get a bowl game.

Why do parents trust their daughters with Jay CutandRunler.

They know there won't be any successful passes.

Those are good ones.

Why doesn't Iowa have a professional football team???
Because then Illinois would want one too. :chisux: